Hopefully He Stays

Chapter One

     I'm sat in my room writing to a boy I know will never read what I'm writing. Not because he doesn't care, but because theres no way it will go well. I feel stupid, how could I let myself fall in love with him? I don't even have just a simple crush, I'm madly in love. Maybe I should show him this one day I think to myself.

       "Sweet. The word echoes in my head. Sweet. The word sweet is like a scenic shot of the wind blowing through a plain of grass. Maybe there is a woman singing a smooth melody in the background, I don't know, but for a moment all is calm.
    This is how you make me feel. When I'm near you I finally get that silence, but at the same time I'm filled to the brim with happiness with only surface tension to hold all of the emotion in. The dull pain that constantly is chipping away at me is replaced; Replaced with a new feeling that is rejuvenating. I can finally breathe in a world where the air is a thick jelly.
    It's a weird thing really, being near you makes me choke on my own heartbeat. Those soft, incredibly dark eyes pull me in and I cannot stop staring. I feel creepy in a way for noticing the small things, like the way you lean back in your chair and tilt your head back and cover the lower half of your face when you're stressed. But then again, it's these small things that add up to the monumental list of reasons to love you.
     I may not be your first pick, or your second, but you picked me at some point. I often wonder what compels you to take a liking to me (I mean, i completely understand why I like you, what is there to dislike?) considering I'm such a pessimist down person, but honestly i couldn't care less because I'm terrified of losing you. This fear might cause me to be irrational, and I pray you will put up with me when you learn these ins and outs.
     Being with you all I see is dancing girls wearing a light orange and soft ambient light. You don't let me photograph you, which really is a drag considering i want to look at you forever. Maybe I'm rash and stupid and insufferable, but you don't let me know, and this bliss is something I would much rather than the truth."
   
      This is what I've spent the past half an hour writing, alone, in my room, on my laptop. It is so stupid, I haven't even seen him since the school year ended, maybe he's changed too much and i'll fall out of love the second I see him in a few weeks. I know this isn't true though, once I see him it's only going to get worse and snowball out of control. God, why am I such a hopeless romantic?