Never Told You [How I Love You]

Don't

Thor Odinson. Prince of Asgard, God of thunder.

The man with the key to your heart- only he didn't know that part. He couldn't know that part. Not ever, and especially not now. Not after what had happened- god, how did it even happen? You were always so careful when it came to your feelings. You hid it all so wonderfully well- then again, there was a reason alcohol was often considered to be truth serum or liquid courage. You weren't much of a drinker- and regular booze wasn't enough to get him drunk enough to forget something like that. You wondered if he had some booze from Asgard stashed away somewhere- if that was what filled his flask that night.

This wasn't supposed to happen- this was never supposed to happen. He couldn't love you, you were just a mere mortal. A regular midguardian, another Jane. You'd met her once before and you were nothing like her, but you were sure that didn't mean a damn thing to him. Why would he want another regular human after her? After she'd dumped him and left him by his lonesome? Why would he want you? You were as normal as normal got. You had a regular job, worked the regular nine to five and thankfully made enough to live on (Thank you, Tony Stark, for not being a cheap asshole). You weren't some amazingly skilled assassin. You weren't gifted with any powers or a surplus of money. You were you. Normal.

So why was this happening? Why were you burdened with these flashes of hazy memories? Memories you wished you could remember in vivid detail- even though you knew they would kill you. The hazy memories you had currently made you ache for many different reasons. You'd never get another night like that- you still couldn't face him, and he seemed so confused by it. How did he not know? Did he not remember?

"Fair Maiden, why do you avoid me so?", he'd asked you this morning, a frown etched into his gorgeous face.

"I-I'm not avoiding you. I'm just- I'm busy, you know? Work has me doing extra hours and-"

"I could ask Stark to fix that-"

"No! I mean- thank you, really, but there's no need. I'm fine, I have to work to earn my pay like everyone else."

"You are not everyone else.", he had said, making your heart skip a beat, "You are a very near and dear friend..", and there your heart went, dropping to the linoleum floor.

Did he seriously not remember? Really? "Thank you, Thor, but I still have to go."

His frown grew as you pushed past him to do some paperwork, and for the rest of the day, you'd ducked and hid anytime you saw him. You did your best- but he was just as persistent. He even managed to catch you at your lunch break, still questioning why you continued to slip away from him. You couldn't look at him, you just couldn't. It was so hard- even glancing at his hands made your heart clench. You knew what they felt like now- knew what it was like to have his fingers grasping at your bare hips. Yet, you didn't know what they felt like in yours. You vaguely knew what his lips felt like against your neck- but not pressed against your own. You knew parts of him you shouldn't know. It hurt, because you'd only know those parts from your drunken and hazy memory. You'd never know them sober.

"I may have to return to Asgard soon..", he'd told you softly, sadness lacing in his voice, "If I must go.. I will miss you dearly.."

Would he? When he left for Asgard, he'd leave for years at a time. You remembered how long he'd left Jane, and you wondered if it played a part in her leaving him. If he loved her so much- how could he just leave? If he would miss you this much, how could he just go? How could he go to another world and leave you behind?

However- it might not be so bad if he left. Maybe if he did, you'd forget. Maybe.

"Ms. [L/N]!", your doctor called out to you, tearing you from your thoughts, a bright smile on her face.

"Yes?", you'd asked. You had come to her because you'd been feeling a little sick lately. For awhile, you thought it was your nerves, but you'd thrown up this morning, and so you were worried.

"I have found the source of your little sickness.", she smiled warmly, "Congratulations. You're pregnant."

At that very moment, your entire world fell apart right before your eyes. Years worth of feelings came pooling out, spilling from your eyes and making your body shake. What? No- that couldn't be. It had only happened once- and- could Asgardians and Midguardians- was this? No- please no.

"Don't...", you murmured, looking to your doctors face. Her smile was gone, and she looked concerned. She was calling out your name but you couldn't hear her. Everything was starting to blur. "Don't-"

"Ms.[L/N]!"

Your world went black- to be honest, you weren't sure if it would ever be colorful again.

"Nᴏ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, I ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ.."