Wings For The Jailbird

21. I Sat In

I sat in the waiting room, watching the clock intently. Just one more minute...

I had gone home and took a long bath after the nurse told me to come back in the afternoon. I called in sick at work and took the time that I had alone at home to just clean. I cleaned up my room and the whole downstairs. I vacuumed the hallway upstairs as well, but stopped when I reached Killian's room.

I knew I wouldn't appreciate it if he just went into mine. So I left it closed and finished up. Before I knew it, it was already half past four when I finished cleaning. That meant I had enough time to walk to club Tekken, thankful that during the day the club was closed. I got my car and stopped at Darmetir's on the way to the hospital.

I ate for the first time that day, only then realizing how hungry I was. I bought a burger and some fries for Killian, hoping he'd be allowed to eat that. I didn't think he couldn't eat a burger when recovering from stab wounds, so I just brought it along with me, hiding it in my purse because I didn't know how happy the nurses would be upon seeing me bring a bag of food.

I have been waiting inside the waiting room for only three minutes and now- the big hand struck the twelve- now I stood up, heading for the elevator. Once again, the ride to the fifth floor was rather complex and I was annoyed when the damn thing just didn't seem to ever halt at the fifth floor.

After another filled three minutes, I sighed and readjusted my purse on my shoulder before walking out at floor number five. By now I didn't even need the guidance on the ground, I already knew where station S was. And I recognized room eighteen as well.

The nurse that held me up this morning didn't appear to be here and I just took a deep breath, glad no one interrupted me this time, before I opened the door. Once I was inside the room and the door fell close behind me, the noises from the people outside died down and all I heard was his heart monitor. I neared Killian's hospital bed and saw that his eyes were closed. I mentally debated whether I should leave or not. He seemed so relaxed and I didn't want to wake him up.

I slowly reached into my purse, trying not to make too much noise as I pulled out the brown paper bag that contained Darmetir's double paddy burger. I figured if Killian Diesel liked burgers, that one would fit him. It was a manly and fat burger. Not that Killian was fat, but he had a big appetite. I took a few steps forward and gently placed the bag on the table next to his bed. I sighed after and glanced back at his face. I jumped when I saw him looking at me, seemingly wide awake.

"I didn't mean to wake you." I said, watching him glance at the bag on the table with hooded eyes.
"It's sweet potato fries and a double paddy burger. I'm not the biggest fan of hospital food and I remember wishing someone just got me a good meal whenever I was in the hospital for a long period of time- not that that happened very often. But a decent-"

"Am I in hell yet?" He groaned, interrupting me and I let it slip, seeing his face obviously grimacing in pain.
"What?" I frowned. He chuckled, sounding restricted.
"You talk like a fucking waterfall." He groaned, trying to sit up. I scoffed and actually thought about taking the bag away from him again.
"Hand me that bag." He demanded and I did. I was too much of a good person. Why was I here again?

"So how are you feeling?" I asked as he lifted his hand and dug into the bag that he placed onto his lap.
"Like a fucking truck hit me." He answered, already shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. I grimaced and looked at the tubes in his arms.
"How long are you staying?" I continued my interrogation and watched him shrug, pulling out the juicy burger.

"Why? You miss me already?" He asked, rotating his burger in his hand, seemingly trying to find the perfect side for the first bite.
"Can't you just answer one question without your annoying sarcasm?" I asked, annoyed he didn't even thank me for the food. He didn't even ask me how I was feeling. I mean sure that sounded a little self-centered, but would it hurt him to just at least act like he cared?

"What's gotten your panties all up in a twist?" He looked at me with a frown.
"The fact that you dragged me out there last night, only for me to find out that you've been getting yourself into trouble again. Besides that, I saw you laying in a damn telephone cell, unconscious and with blood all over you. I worried about you this whole freaking time and all I get when I come here is a lousy 'pass me the bag' along with your sarcastic answers that you can shove up your bum!" I exploded, feeling so good afterwards. My eyes closed and I let out a breath. Well, I needed to say it.

When my eyes opened again, our eyes met and he blinked once before clearing his throat and looking away.
"You can take your shit back if that's what you want." He dropped the burger back into the bag and placed it back onto the table.
"You're such a- a-" I started, stopping to come up with anything that described this man. Anything that would represent irresponsible, stupid, annoying, sarcastic and not to forget oh-so tough.

"Jerk." Was all I could think of in that moment.
"You said that before." His jaw clenched.
"Because it's true. You don't care a bit about what impact your actions have on people. You don't care whether I worry or not. You don't care about anything!" I continued my yelling.

"I never asked you to fucking care for me! I never asked you for any of this. In fact, I don't even fucking want it. I don't want you, I don't want to stay with you and I don't want to give a shit about you!" He said that all in one breath, touching his side when he was finished.

I blinked, feeling my throat tightening up as his words once again hurt. And I had no idea why I let them hurt me, but I would soon find out when my heart started to drop. Oh no. I couldn't. I could not possibly be- could I? Could I, Belle Valery be in love with heartless bully and ex jailbird, Killian Diesel?!

Without a response to his outburst, I turned around and left the room abruptly. I was being ridiculous. There was no way I could want more from this guy than- well maybe I wanted a repetition of our night together. And maybe that's what I've been feeling? Just a desire to have sex with him again? Yes, that had to be it, I thought as I made my way down to the hospital exit.

I almost laughed out loud as I remembered my thoughts a second ago. Killian Diesel and I, ha! Belle Valery and Killian Diesel! Now I actually let out a snort. Some people looked at me and I lowered my head, picking up speed.

Killian Diesel and Belle Valery. Even our names didn't fit. Killian and Belle Diesel. Huh, that didn't sound too bad. But I shook my head again. Bad thought.

I finally reached my car amd drove back home, suddenly craving a lot of chocolate.