The story you thought you knew...

Prologue

I stood in the bathroom as my hands shook.
My white, scarred hands.

Scarred with the memories of that night.

I looked at my ugly reflection, pale white leathery skin, burnt to a crisp. In contrast was my once brown hair that had been singed black, the brown only just starting to grow back out.

I want to say my hair stood on end as my mum opened the bathroom door, but there was no hair there to stand on end.

I looked away from her quickly, my face bleeding heavily with the results of my self harm, as my mum reached out to me.

"Jeff, are you okay, sweetie?"

The soft skin of her hand brushed the white hoodie I wore, making me shrink away from her touch.

"I'm fine, mum." Is all I said as she stood there still, not knowing what to do.

"What's this all over the counter... Jeff, are you okay.." she asked apprehensively as her eyes caught sight of the bloody blade that had slid across the skin of my face just moments before.

"I'm fine." I shouted back at her as I pushed past her with my hood up, face down to the floor.

She caught a glimpse of my face and gasped, as I shoved the door to my bedroom closed.

I heard a door open and close slightly, then hushed speak between my mother and my brother.

I heard movement, then there was footsteps moving down the stairs.

I sunk back into the corner in relief, my eyes closing as I welcomed sleep- then my door opened.

"Hey, Jeff. Are you okay?" Liu's voice sounded.

"I'm okay." Is all I said as he walked into the room.

"Do you wanna go and play football?" He asked, smiling at me through a grimace.

"I'm good."

"No you're no-"

"You don't know shit, so don't act like you do." I cut him off.

"Jeff.. Don't be li-"

"No. You don't understand! Nobody does! I'm a monster. When your face is burnt off then you can say you understand!" I screamed at him.

He took a step back and put his hands up.

"Oh so you're scared of me now? What happened to football?"

He ran out the room.

"I thought so..." I whimpered to myself as I curled up  in a ball.

I heard more footsteps as my father came upstairs and to bed, my mother in tow.

I walked out to the bathroom, deciding it was almost time for bed, but as I walked past my parents room my fathers eyes caught mine.

I heard hushed whispers between my parents, things like "I told you so" and "he isn't sane"

I walked out of the bathroom after a couple minutes, hearing the click of a gun.

I walked over to the door of my parents room to see my dad loading his shotgun while my mum looked out the window.

"You don't need to do this, he i-"

"He is a danger to all of us."

I rushed into the bathroom for my blade, footsteps heavy beneath me.

—

I stood beside the doorway that my father would come out of, the cold blade heavy in my trembling hands.

As he walked out of the room I tensed up, getting ready to attack him.

I jumped out from behind him, slitting his neck swiftly with my blade- making my mother scream at the sight.

I turned around to see her with her hand over her mouth, her eyes holding the same emotion my fathers held after death.

I walked towards her sadly, but her reaction only made me angry- as she took steps back to avoid me.

"Mum.." I whimpered at her as she shook her head.

"No.." is all she said as a tear left her eye.

"What? Would you rather me, your child, dead instead?" I asked as she shook her head in fear.

My face fell as I walked towards her, knife in hand, as she sobbed to herself.

I held up the knife ready to attack-

But I woke up.

My body was shaking heavily in the cold- adrenaline coursed through my veins as cars passed the bench I slept upon.

I shook my head to myself as tears filled my eyes at the recurring nightmare that plagued me since I was small.

Five years ago.

That's how long ago I made the decision I would always live to regret.