more than anything in this world

1/1

Richie Tozier was visiting the rest of the losers for the first time in roughly 27 years, and he couldn't be more nervous.

He was worried what they would think, since he hadn't visited them before then- would they be upset with him? He hoped not. Richie was a strong man, but he knew he would completely shatter if any of them were disappointed in him.

Richie tried to shake his thoughts by combing through his wild, graying hair. A lot had changed since the last time he saw his losers, he was only 22 then, and he was now an old man (at least in his eyes.)

He stared intensely at himself in the mirror while he tied his Hawaiian printed tie. He could practically hear Bev in his ear, a loud laugh at his outfit, and see her clearly in his mind. The last time he had seen Bev, she was pregnant and married to Haystack. He felt bad for not seeing the happy couple for such a long time, but he told himself they'd understand. Or at least he hoped they would.

He knew Mike would. Mike Hanlon was the most understanding man Richie had ever met in his life. When he talked about how he was uncertain about his future, Mike understood. When he came to him, a scared teenager whose parents had kicked him out because of who he was, Mike understood. When he showed Mike the ring he'd bought for the man he loved, Mike put a hand on his shoulder and told him he was proud. He smiled at the memories of his friend, again resenting himself for not visiting sooner. Last time the losers were together, Mike was in talks of taking of over the family farm, and had begun looking into adopting a dog. He could see the man's warm face sharply in his mind, and he could still feel his hand on his shoulder.

He was unsure how Eddie and Bill felt about him taking so long. They had been freshly engaged, too, all smiles and sneaky kisses as they drove up to the Rocky Mountains. He remembers quite vividly, them holding hands and snickering as they whispered in each other's ears, Richie smiled sweetly at the two of them. It was about fucking time they got together.

He pictured Eddie calming Bill down, Bill's hands shaking, heart broken that Richie just...just left like he did. He felt their emotions, the roller coaster they must be feeling.

And of course there was Stan. He knew Stan must be shattered about Richie leaving as long as he did, without a proper goodbye, and without any visits. He could still see the smile on the curly haired boy's face when Richie got down on one knee when they stopped on the side of the road on the way up, he could still feel Stan's long fingers gripping to him whenever they would hug, as if it was all a dream he didn't want to let go. Richie thought about looking in the car's mirror at Stan, his face illuminated by the golden sunlight. Richie wished he could paint, because he wanted to accurately portray the beauty in front of him. Richie knew Stan had every right to be upset, but he couldn't help but hope he would forgive him. They loved each other after all.

Before Riche left, he pictured them all together once again. He might not have seen them in 27 years, but they never really left his side.

Richie splashed water on his face before he left his hotel room. He had decided to walk, since the others were close by and he wanted to see the town again. Unsurprisingly, it was almost the same it had been when he was 17, same stores, same restaurants, same scenery, and what almost seemed like the same people.

Before he even had time to mull over the worry of the other 6 being upset with him, he had arrived.

He closed his eyes and gulped, pushing aside the gate door and heading to where he knew they would all be. Tears were flowing freely from his eyes now, and his shoulders shook at an alarming rate.

There they were, his losers. All six of them, under a tree blooming with flowers. Distant noise of cars could be heard in the background, which caused Richie to think about that road trip to the mountains once more.