The Killing Joke

N°6

Bizarrely enough, you didn't wake up with the taste of regret still lingering in your throat like some ugly vermin that have infested your mouth as a result of the kiss it had allowed. No, in fact, you felt rather pleasant; regardless of the clingy embrace you were locked in, by two human, and two metallic limbs that were coiled around your frame from behind, both tight enough to mildly suppress your breathing. Like some sort of Python from all those adventurous novels who told of three metre snakes who lived deep in the verdant depths of the most horrific jungles, feeding on local children and livestock.

One might have said that you felt too balmy in regards to the circumstances that had gotten you there. After all, when did it ever occur that you woke up beside someone who you didn't despise? Or even more obscene, someone you adored with all the shallow fondness you could bare to choke up without losing all your principals. And for once, you didn't care if anyone might knock on that door to find you here at such an ungodly hour, to question you, to condemn you for what you had let yourself get into. Let them come, you thought, you'd talk yourself out of it somehow.

The mellowness of skin under your fingertips was almost surreal as you let them gently caress along a familiar arm that had found its way around your midriff, and every inch you touched the coarse, firm texture felt like some fabricated matter that was simply too good to be so close to you. You didn't even mind the smudges of pale maquillage that adhered to you as you did so. Normally, the break of dawn was the time for you to jump up and wrestle yourself into your morning routine that conduct to a day of chores.

But no, you didn't move an inch out of that bed for hours, regardless of the knowledge that this was such a fragile, illicit peace; so futile and yet you couldn't persuade yourself to leave. Instead, you found the sleepdrunk guts to turn your snug position to face your blue-haired friend, a cheeky smirk lifting your languid countenance as you let your cold fingers brush up your jokers arched, oddly bony spine in one meek stroke; following each vertebra on the bony column near religiously.

And you couldn't help but wonder how boundlessly unwarranted it was that the thing you couldn't have, the one thing you cherished in such a extramundane fashion, was so damn close, close enough to touch; but yet not to hold. You felt like a child in a toy-shop, surrounded by fantastic, beautiful trinkets and games, each one more marvellous in vibrancy than the next, and yet; you were not permitted to have them. You could only stare, wait, and hope that maybe, one fortunate day, you would have a chance to change that all; to keep what you wanted.

For the time being though, you were left with staring, and so that's what you did. In the dim, milky rays of summers dawn light, that barely dared to gander through the drawn curtains, dowsing all it touched in a surreal, murky atmosphere; you seemingly had all the time in the galaxy harnessed to just silently observe through your half-lidded eyes. And you had to admit, it was oddly pleasant how serene the soft light rimmed the rigid outlines of your jester. The pronounced, sharp silhouette and clear contours consisting of bone and muscles, who shifted and twitched beneath the skin under every tiny motion; every breath so to speak. Each buzzing and twitching like the little ticks of an automaton.

Not that you hadn't previously acknowledged it, but especially in this light, he was so hideously gorgeous that it was almost a thorn in your eye. It felt like just another way to mock you, to jeer and whisper that you just couldn't have him, not if you valued your life, that was. So with a deep sigh, you decided it would be wisest to end your thoughts there, you didn't want to risk your self pity and greed to grow.

So you decided it may be better to just get on with the day before you'd do something regrettable yet again. "Hey, wake up, will you? You're crushing my lungs... Besides, if I stay here for much longer I risk losing my head." You muttered with directly bitter voice, ungently waking your fool by nudging yourself away from him, making him instantly reply with a unnerved growl and a displeased grimace as you did so. "Gimme five more minutes." Was all the husky response you got hushed somewhere close to your neck as the Aussie nuzzled against your shoulder tighter with a pleased mutter, effortlessly closing the gap between you with a short tug, that you had just struggled to create.