Broken (Eli Goldsworthy Fanfic)

Chapter 5 - Goodbye

“Hey, rich girl! You looking for some company tonight?” A tall guy donning a football jacket called to me.

            My eyes locked onto his jacket, sporting the football team emblem on the side; I forced myself to keep walking towards my locker, although my joints suddenly seemed sticky and robotic. Firstly, the fact that he was calling out to me in general scared me. Secondly, him being part of the football team added onto my extreme fear of any jocks—since I was raped by about eight of them—made my heart just stop. I made it to my locker, and jerkily entered in my combination.

            It was after lunch, now, and my identity was no longer hidden. The entire student body had seen me dodging the paparazzi in the hallway, and now knew exactly who I was despite my wardrobe change.

            I opened my locker and grabbed the books for my last two classes of the day. After I closed it, I was surprised to see a face directly next to mine, facing me. I jumped, letting out a mangled yelp.

            “Hey, hot stuff. Wanna go on a date with me?” The football player who had called at me from across the hallway seconds ago said, his face too close to mine for comfort.

            I took a breath, reminding myself that I had to stay strong. After all, this guy wasn’t going to rape me—he was just desperate. No big deal. I shouldn’t be afraid. I met his eyes, trying my hardest not to appear weak. “You’re not my type,” I responded, my voice a lot more brave than I’d expected.

            His eyebrows rose in surprise. “But, rich girl, you don’t even know me. I might be your type, you never know.”

            I fixed my bag on my shoulder, taking a step away from him. Instantly, I felt slightly more calm, having a gap between us. “Trust me,” I said coldly, shaking my head. “You’re not my type.”

            I didn’t have types. Ever since the rape, the idea of ever getting involved with anyone—whether it was a crush, or even friendship—was banned from my list of things I would allow myself to do. When you have that with someone, a relationship or a friendship, you let them inside your head. You open yourself up. And I wasn’t ever going to be willing to do that again. I was a closed box, sealed up tight. Besides, relationships were overrated.

            After the rape, appearances stopped mattering to me. Before it happened, I’d always imagined my perfect guy as funny, charming, sarcastic, intelligent, and ridiculously beautiful. For some reason, how he looked had mattered to me. Now, it meant nothing. Now, after everything I’d been through, I understood that it didn’t matter how people looked. Even if they’re beautiful, they’ll still be able to hurt you. I didn’t have a dream guy anymore. I didn’t even think about boys or liking people or having crushes anymore. I was on my own now, for the rest of my life. I was prepared to live in eternal loneliness. I was content with that.

            “You never know unless you give me a chance,” The football player replied smoothly. “So, how about it? A date at The Dot, tonight? We can get some coffee, fool around a bit afterwards…” He wiggled his eyebrows and winked at me.

            I got the feeling that this guy had a lot of practice flirting with girls. Inside, I felt like I was crumbling in fear—this was too familiar, too weird. A football player, hitting on me, asking me to fool around with him? Too familiar. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve already got plans,” I muttered lifelessly in response, turning and walking away. Despite how I was breaking inside, I sounded perfectly in control on the outside; actually, I sounded like I did this often. I sounded like a regular heartbreaker. Cool.