You + Me [Shameless]

I'm The Daughter [5x02]

A/N: Hey. I hated writing this. Enjoy.

[We're currently ranked #3 in Shameless!!!!!!!!!! I wanna give each and every one of you a hug. I fucking love you.]

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I walked out into the hospital hallway, my torso hunched into itself as I dialed the only contact that mattered at the moment.

"Hey," Lip's voice echoed into my ear, making my heart ache even more.

"My mom just died," I whispered into the phone. My hand was calm and sturdy, my body had yet to catch up with my brain.

I heard a loud "What?", followed by what sounded like him stumbling.

"Yeah, a few minutes ago. They're checking her over now, I had to get out of the room."

"But- But you never said anything about her..."

I finished his sentence, "It was so fast, Lip. Minutes."

"They didn't-"

"She had a DNR," I cut him off again. "Didn't want people crowding around her if she was going. Wanted it to be peaceful." I let out a loud laughing sob, my hand soon covering my mouth. "She always fucking knew just what she wanted."

"I'm so sorry," he eventually spoke softly into the phone.

"It's okay," I replied as I slouched against the grey hospital wall. "I'll be okay."

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What is it about a death in the family that makes people want to feed you? I've been offered more casseroles the past two days than I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't even like casseroles, so I've been making Lip and Mandy take them. If I opened the fridge to one more goddamn lasagna I swear I'd throw a tantrum. Maybe if people gifted grieving people bottles of vodka instead of shitty dishes of food, I'd be feeling more like myself.

I wish I was numb, I wish I didn't have to feel a single emotion throughout the entire funeral process. I wish I could just pop a Xanax and zone out for the next forty-eight hours, but opioids make me sleepy. So I had to be sober, for the time being. I didn't have the time to be numb.

Sunday morning, I woke up to the movement of Lip slowly getting out of my bed. I rolled over and watched his backside as he put his pants on. He turned around to grab his shirt from the night before off of my desk chair and smiled when he saw I was awake.

"Hey," he whispered. "I'm real sorry, but I have to head into work."

"It's okay, go. Can't miss the first day." I wrapped the covers tighter around my body. The room was cold from the air conditioner being on all night. Lip was starting a job working for Tommy from the Alibi, hauling old building parts and other grodd things that he was way too excited about.

He tucked a loose hair behind my ear. "You sure you'll be alright?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"I'll have my phone if you need me, okay?" He kissed the top of my head. "I love you. I'll be over later."

My head hit the pillow as soon as he left the room.

After a quiet breakfast with my dad, we spent our Father's Day on the couch watching movies and trying to ignore the fact that our house was missing someone. The funeral was planned, so all that was left to do was wait, agonizingly.

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I fell asleep during one of the movies and woke up to my heart racing. I put my hand over my chest and surveyed the room. The television was still playing, the light outside was still bright, and my dad was asleep on the other end of the couch.