my green, putrid vines
of envy tattered too far
against your soul; i'm sorry.
im not the angel in this
situation, but perhaps,
i was far worse than a
risen demon; i'm sorry.
when i remember your
laugh, chills poke at my
heart because the
loquacious silence
pounds. pounds
against my skull.
the ripe fruit of guilt
bites at the inside of
my flesh, and the pain
doesn't stop until i
gather my thoughts;
i'm so sorry.
i miss those rogue
times that i let you
call me that stupid
nickname.
i didn't mean to scowl,
because i adored it.
you weren't a blessing,
but you weren't a curse.
we lost another family
member, now our hearts
hurt even worse. you
were always full of mirth;
i shouldn't be crying,
because whenever you
cried all i did was laugh.
when i think about you,
i hate myself. do you hate
me too? you should. yet
there's a solace part of
me that prays you don't.
i want to forget,
i want to forgive.
ㅡ j,g,e.
