i'll be coming out for christmas

christmas eve

it was christmas eve. sherlock helped his mother set up the dining room table, carrying out plates and baskets of yeast rolls. he kept himself confined in the kitchen and dining room, staying away from john. it was always a tradition to eat together. they were like one big family and every year they switched what house they would eat at and this year it was the holmeses.

it's been six days since sherlock spoke to john and as far as sherlock knows, john at sholto we're still together. sherlock constantly checked john's profiles, seeing that all of his bios still had sholto's name in them. so either they worked it out or they broke up, but john cant let go. either way, sherlock should just stop thinking about john in general because their friendship was over.

"sherlock, get the pie from the oven, will you?" mrs. holmes asked her son as she carried the ham out to the dining room.

sherlock grabbed an oven mitt, putting it on as he turned the timer on the stove off. he opened the stove, pulling out the apple pie out and setting it on the counter. he shut the oven door, taking the mitt. "do you want it out there, ma?" he shouted slightly.

"please!"

sherlock put the oven mitt on again, picking the pie up then carrying it carefully to the dining room. everyone started to pile into the dining room, standing behind their seats as mr. holmes cut the ham. sherlock set the pie next to the pumpkin one, leaving the mitt under it so it didn't burn the table cloth. he went to the empty seat at the corner of the table next to his uncle and stood.

"would you like to lead us in prayer, dorothy?" mrs. holmes asked mrs. watson.

"of course." mrs. watson smiled.

everyone bowed their heads, closing their eyes as mrs. watson started praying. sherlock kept his eyes open, staring down at his empty plate as he felt a pair of eyes on him. he lifted his head slightly, seeing john staring at him from across the far end of the table. sherlock brought his head up, gaining full eye contact with john. they stood like that, just starting at each other as their families had their heads bowed in prayer.

sherlock could see it in john's eyes. he's been crying. there were bags under his eyes and there was stubble growing. him and sholto definitely broke up. john wasn't even caring about his appearance. his button up under his sweater wasn't tucked in, his cuffs weren't buttoned in the second hole and he was picking at his nails again.

"amen." came the voices around the table.

sherlock looked down, pulling his chair out and sitting down. he felt and elbow nudge him and he looked over at his uncle.

"you alright?" rudy asked softly.

sherlock nodded. "how do think everyone would feel if i came out during dessert?" he asked, careful his father didn't hear.

"it's your decision. not mine." rudy said, patting shelrock's forearm. he turned and took the dish of green beans that was being passed down.

sherlock looked over at his father who was sitting at the end of the table. his father smiled at him before telling him to pay attention because everything was being passed around.

there was chatter and laughter throughout the dinner. both families were smiling and laughing, sharing memories of past christmases or stories from back in the day when the adults were teens and what they did. sherlock found out that his father set a christmas tree on fire on accident because he plugged in bad christmas lights. and it wasn't just any old tree, is was his future wife's tree. that's why shelrock's grandparents were never that found of his father. durning dinner, sherlock caught glances of john looking at him, but he ignored them and looked some where else. his night was going good as he didn't want it to be ruined until he was going to ruin the night for everyone else. it wasn't his intention, but it's been eating him ever since he came out to his uncle and he just had to do it. he couldn't take the pressure of his greatest secret anymore.