Problem~Marauders

Chapter 5

So far, everything is just peachy.
We all just got back from our 30 minute break, and of course by the dare of Sirius Black I was supposedly to be sitting on Remus's lap. We all looked like we were going to die of insanity here; Lily is drunk with the coffee and is now singing the school hymn as she was making little braids out of James's hair. Sirius was getting crankier by the hour; he was not likeable after 3 days of no sleep. Peter was lying next to the fire place, poking the Yule logs with his wand. And Remus was slowly falling asleep on my shoulder,
I think I'm the only one who's the least going insane.
"Alright," Sirius said with drooping eye lids, "We only need to stay alive, I mean, awake for three more hours. Just three short hours and get this done with."
We all looked at him, his hair flat from the lack of maintenance and his eyes bloodshot; we all tiringly clapped our hands and pumped our fists to the air. We had never reached this far in the tradition, normally we would just all fall asleep on the 2nd day and sod it off but with Lily joining in; everyone seemed to be energized... until the 3rd day came.
James looked up at me, his hair in multiple braids (courtesy of Lily), "Anne, wake up that bloke." He said, pointing to Remus, who laid his head on my shoulder and rested his eyes for a bit. I reluctantly took my wand from my pants pocket (my shoulder seemed to ache on my every move) and squirted water on his face to perk him up a bit.
He woke up with a jolt, "Bloody merlin, ANNE!" Remus said slightly enraged. I saw in the corner of my eye that Lily stopped braiding, Sirius stopped sulking, Peter stopped playing with the fireplace and James stopped poking holes into one of the cushions.
I guess because we never heard Remus yell at someone, let alone me. He always remained calm, sure he sometimes raises his voice but now he sounds like he's done with it all. Remus quickly recollected himself. He removed from his lap and settled me down on the carpet floor.
Everyone looked wide awake at the moment, clearly surprised. I excused myself, following Remus who went inside his dorm. I hurriedly walked up the staircase, pushing through the heavy door stumbling on my feet as I walked in, "Okay, what the hell just happened down there?"
I walked in on him getting dressed, changing his soaked shirt. I mumbled an apology and turned my back from him, repeating the question. I could hear his footsteps go farther away, hanging the shirt near the furnace, "That was nothing, I was just surprised."
"That's all?"
Even when my back if facing him, I could see him nod in agreement. His hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me to face him, "I'm sorry if I seem... like this, alright? I-I haven't been okay in the past weeks and-"
I removed his hand on my shoulder, my eyes piercing through his, "You think you haven't been feeling okay? What about me?" I ask him, feeling a bit deranged, "I feel like I'm currently being lied to ever since, Remus. With your disappearances every month and those scars..." I sit down on the foot of his bed struggling to find the right words, "Just please, you don't have to tell me where you're going; I want to know that wherever you are, you're safe because-"

"Because what?"

He took a few steps near me, holding on to my wrist mainly because I feel like I'm about to slip off and not wake up for several days.
But really, why do I care? He's one of my best friends, I suppose. He's my house mate; I'm morally obligated to care for my fellow Gryffindors. He's been there for me all through the years we've met. Or is it because I still have unfinished business with my emotional 3rd year self?

Dare I tell the truth?
I looked up at him, meeting his eyes, feeling myself lose control of my doings risking my friend ship with Remus, "Because I think I'm still in love with you." There I said it. He doesn't react or do anything drastic, he keeps listening to me, "Or I think because I'm using you as a distraction from my family."
Remus scrunches up his eyebrows, looking worried, "What do you mean? What about them?" I shrugged, "I honestly do not know, ever since I've written to them a month and a half ago I haven't gotten a single letter from them."

"Not even a word?"

"Not even a syllable."

I felt all my emotions break loose, covering my face as I felt tears run down my sleep deprived face, "I'm sorry, I'm just really damned worried about them. Seeing there is in fact a mad wizard running around, murdering people and whatnot."
I could tell he was struggling with his words, I couldn't blame him I felt just the same as well. Remus bit the wall of cheek, a nervous habit, "I would be bargaining with your safety if I told you where I go every month," He said in mumble, "I want you to be safe, Anne. I want all of you to be safe."
He starts with holding my hand tight, his eyes shut down as if he were trying not to see a monster that hides under children's beds at night. Remus inhales deeply, finally looking at me, "C-can you please try and understand? I care for you Anne, I really do and all of that would be worth nothing I told you the truth." He said.

I could see fear in his eyes, Remus fought hard so long to hide that fear and now I wonder what took me so long to see it. He's been hiding it for Merlin knows how long, I felt my stomach take a turn making me feel uneasy; it just makes me sick to realize that I've been pursuing Remus all these years to tell me something that makes him fear it by even saying the words itself.

I nodded like an obedient child being told what to do, "I understand," He suddenly gasps for air and pull me into a hug, "Thank you." I mutter a welcome and hug him back, "But you've got to at least assure me, all of us, that you'll be alright Remus; you're scaring the shit out of us." I say with a nervous laugh. He emits a small laugh after we recollect ourselves from the hug.
We sat there in silence, watching the snow fall. After a few hours, we turned to face each other both calm and quiet Remus checked his watch and tucked away the loose strands of my hair behind my ear, "This is not how I pictured my Christmas morning to be."
I chuckled for some unknown reason, "Tell me about it." Recalling our dramatic monologues, he laughed along with me followed with a shake of his head, "No it's actually better," Remus said candidly as he took hold of my hand, "Merry Christmas."

I felt a smile spread out on my face, my eyes crinkling in profound happiness, "Merry Christmas." Time seemed to slow down for us, as if the god of time himself wanted us to slow down and cherish the moment. Remus moved closer to me, his nose now against mine then wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer to him. The warmth of both our bodies trapped between the little spaces between us, hearing each other's still yet ranging breathing and out of my impatience I pulled on his hair and kissed him.
To be fair, it took a bloody long time before the kiss. The thrill of it was killing me, I had to take the chance he was right there in front of me for Merlin's sake.
The kiss then ended, both of us breathless. It took a few minutes before we could look at each other's eyes and when we did we ended up in the biggest fit of laughter we ever had (unless you count the time that we straightened Sirius's hair with an iron while he was asleep, he looked like a wet dog).
I stood up from the window seat with Remus trailing after me, "Come on, the others must be out of their minds by now." Once we went down the stairs, we heard the peaceful snoring of the lot. Peter fell asleep against the couch where Sirius had fallen asleep, James was on the carpet next to Lily; they both looked like they had fallen asleep holding hands, their arms outstretched as if reaching for the other. 2
Remus and I both decided to set up the Christmas presents around the tree, perking the Common room up a bit. Putting fresh logs in the fire, shrouding the Marauders and Lily with thick maroon blankets, removing the coffee cups and thermoses; replacing them with jugs of water and hot chocolate, finally when our deed was done we rested on the two-seater table next to a portrait of London on Christmas Morning.
The last thing I remember before I woke up with the sun in my eyes was the faint tinkling of mistletoe budding on the ceiling, reaching just a few inches above our heads as if it was cheering us on to another kiss.
I shrugged, smiling playfully, "We have to honor the tradition, Lupin." He grinned in return, gently pulling me toward him, "Another one for the road." And just like the kiss before, it was adrenaline-rushing, breath-taking, and out of this world amazing.
~ Remus

I woke up to the sound of bells ringing in a distance, a single ray of the sunlight hitting my face which blinded me temporarily, and the commotion going on around me. I stood up with my back aching as I did, that's what you get when you sleep in a chair, Idiot. I looked up to my right and saw Anne, sleeping peacefully and nestled in her own arms like an injured bird with her hair covering most of her face.
I wanted so much to wake her up and ask if what happened earlier really did in fact happen but I had an inkling that if I did so, she'd hit me in the face and go back to sleep.
I saw Lily hopping down the stairs from her dorm, looking fresh and well energized with her red hair in a bun on top of her head. She made a makeshift megaphone by cupping her mouth with her hands, I automatically wave my arms in the air trying hard to get her attention and warn her that Anne was asleep but Lily didn't see me.
"IT'S CHRISTMAS! WAKE UP!"
The Common room echoed of the moans of agony from Anne, who covered her ears as if Lily's voice caused her pain; James, who still had the tiny braids in his hair; Peter and Sirius who woke up almost immediately.
What I fathomed to happen if Anne woke up to Lily's voice went undeniably the opposite. She stretched out her arms like a caged bird, and smoothed down her hair, "Merry Christmas, Remus." Anne said, looking irrevocably happy. From the corner of my eye, I could tell the others were just as confused as I was. Anne never woke up happy, she either slams the door to however wakes her up in the face or splashes them with cold water.
"Oh come on, it's Christmas!" Anne said pleadingly, "Am I not allowed to wake up on Christmas morning with a smile on my face?" She asked, her eyebrows fiercely set, "Well?"

Suddenly, everyone perked up (even Sirius looked jolly enough) and went around the Common room to great each other a merry Christmas. I approached Anne first, of course.
She had a quaint smile on her face, her skin glowing like the moon, "You're staring at me, Lupin." Anne said, her eyes narrowing at me. I nodded, "You look exquisite."

"You make me sound like something served on a silver platter during dinner," She says with a smile, leaning in towards me. It felt magnetic, her and I, I instantly felt drawn to her into the moment. Anna grabs me by my tie and her lips brush against mine so lightly it feels like a breeze, I pull her closer to me, wanting more of her.
I hear the other lads shouting in the background, cheering us on. Anne broke the kiss with a laugh, burying her face into my chest, "So much for laying low about us, huh?" In that moment, all my years of longing for her, of wanting her to be this close to me made my heart thrice as big as it was. She's here, and she loves me. And I love her, truly.