In love?

CLEARING THE AIR

The next morning saw Ishita in a strangely cheerful mood. Although Raman didn't want to wake up to a heart-broken Ishita, he knew about her impeccable style of hiding pain.

I: (cheerfully) Good morning Raman.

R: (gloomily) Good morning. Ruhi school chali gayi?

I: Yaa. You are late today.

Raman got up without meeting her eyes and went to freshen up. Ishita let her breath out heavily having controlled her tears. They hadn't had any talk from the point she left the room after the confession. She had slept with Ruhi that night.

Due to her daily practice, Ishita selected Raman's clothes for the day. She clutched his shirt and held it close.

I:(to his shirt)  Kya ho gaya hamare beech Raman. Maine kal raat itni badi galati kaise kar di? I very well knew that you don't have any such feelings for me. Had the relation been only between you and me, I would have simply walked away. But, I love Ruhi much more than I love you or myself. But I still do love you!

Hearing Raman's footsteps she quickly wipes her tears. Raman comes and takes his clothes but doesn't miss the tear stains on his shirt.

R: Ishita, are you okay?

I: Haan Raman. Absolutely.

R: To phir ro kyun rahi thi.

I: Nahi toh.

R: Ishita kal raat...

I: (cuts him) Main kal majaak kar rahi thi Raman. You know how good an actress I am. Aur aapko buddhu banana toh bada aasan hain. Aapko yaad hain na maine woh picnic pe memory loss ki acting kitne achhe se ki thi. Achha woh picnic se yaad aaya...

R: Don't try to change the topic. Main tumhara chehra dekhke bhi tumhare dil ki sachhayi jan sakta hoon.

They share a brief eyelock.

R: I know kal tum majaak nahi kar rahi thi. We need to talk about it.

Ishita fears of breaking down in front of him and she doesn't want to give an impression of being an emotional black-mailer.

I: Baat? Kyun? It's all dissolved Raman, please.

She is about to leave when Raman grabs her arm.

R: We are friends right? Aisi koi bhi baat humare friendship ke beech nahi aani chahiye, koi unnecessary awkwardness nahi honi chahiye.

I: I promise it won't cause any difference.

R: Not by straining you own self. Let's talk it out na yaar.

I: Kya bolenge Raman? Yeh ki main aapse pyaar kar baithi, aur aapne nahi kiya?

R: Aisa mat bolo please. Ishita, it's just that main abhi iss sab ke liye ready nahi hoon- emotionally, physically.

I: Enough Raman. Aap ne yeh kaha ki aap mujhse pyaar nahi karte. That's perfectly fine. But I am not a woman who wants to be with you for physical needs. Ainda bolne se pehle sochiyega please.

R: Oh God. I didn't mean that. I am so sorry. Main tumhe bohot achhe se jaanta hoon Ishita. But, tum bohot achhi ho and  my life is a complete mess. Mujhe apne feelings ki clarity nahi hain. Aur iss sab mein main tumhe nahi jodna chahta.

I: Fair enough. Yeh Mihika aur Vandu akka ne hi kuchh mere dimaag mein daal diya. I was such a fool to think ki aap mujhse pyaar karte ho. Main jaanti nahi kya aapko?! Shagun aapka pehla aur aakhri pyaar thi. I know I can never take her place.

R: You shouldn't ever. Tumhari jagah usse kahin upar hain. It's just that hum ek couple ke taur par itne bhi nahi hain perfect... you know... I mean...

I: I can understand Raman. Kabhi purani kuchh baatein bohot gehra ghaav de jaati hain. Mere saath bhi yahin hua tha.

R: But main isse ubharne ki poori koshish karunga Ishita.

I: Sirf Ruhi ke liye.

She smiles at him and continues.

I: Hamare liye na yahi sahi hain. Let's stick to being Ruhi's parents.

R: And best friends?

He forwards his hand which she takes after a moment or two and smiles gently.

R: Toh aaj kahin bahar lunch karne chale?

I: Raman, I can't be so mechanical. Mujhe kuchh baatein absorb karne ke liye waqt chahiye.

R: But abhi toh humne sab discuss kiya na?

I: Ruhi, Adi ki maa, Bhalla parivaar ki eldest bahu aur aapki dost bankar I will do everything possible to keep you all happy because after all aap sab hi toh mere apne ho. But aapki phir se waisi hi contract marriage waali wife banne mein thoda waqt to lagega Raman.

R: Don't say that yaar. I feel sick.

I: Please don't be. In fact, I am happy that you bared your heart to me. And I hope you understand me.

R: Yaa, I do. And I promise, I won't force anything upon you.

She steps aside to leave the room when he again calls her.

I: And I also promise, zindagi mein agar phir kabhi pyaar kar paaya, toh sirf aur sirf meri biwi se karunga. You are the only one I ever wish to love. After all, Raavan Kumar ko Jhansi ki Rani hi suit karti hain!!