The New Path

Prologue

2nd May 1610

I do not know what to do anymore.

The storm caught us off guard, we had just arranged our luggage in the cabins below deck and left the village's harbour. We had just decided to go to Jamestown, Sarah would have preferred to stay there in the islands. She had insisted 'til the end, as if she had known what was going to happen to her. But I too had insisted. Though cold in winter, inhospitable because of savages and not yet fully built, Jamestown seem'd to me more hospitable than those impetuous and swampy beaches. Sarah had recently given birth to Bermuda, our baby.
She was so small, so lively and sweet. When I first saw her, I immediately knew I needed to protect her from everything and everyone, so that she would never have suffered, just as I had sworn to defend her mother from suffering years and years ago.

But I will never be able to honour my promise again.

The Wind started to blow strongly. The Sea rose like a raging monster all around the Sea Venture, and we all feared it would have turned the ship around. We all wanted to save our lives.

And it only took a moment.

A second of distraction, a stupid attempt to help a sailor to gather the sails.
I left them.
The Sea threw itself headlong onto the main deck of the ship, sweeping away anyone who couldn't cling to something sturdy.

For Sarah and Bermuda, I had to be the one to cling to.

I saw them fall, flying over the ship's parapet as the furious Wave threw them into the Sea. Sarah was screaming. Bermuda had just opened her light green eyes.

Just like mine.

I threw myself headlong towards the parapet, in the hope of being able to grasp them, to hold Sarah's hand to prevent them from falling, but it wasn't possible; I arrived too late. They rushed into the Salt Water, I saw them gasping, Sarah tried to grab Bermuda, who, for a moment, had got out of her hands, but couldn't. I tried to jump into the Sea to save them, but the sailors stopp'd me.

Perhaps, if I had dived, I could have saved them.

They told me I had no chance, but basically I think I could have help'd, if only I hadn't let them go in the first place.

I lost them.

My wife, my baby.

My baby!

She wasn't even a month old, and God had already decided to take her from me! If only I had the strength to not let them go! If I could have held back my damn'd seafaring pride, ah!
Perhaps they would still be here, and I might now be looking at my daughter's light green eyes, instead of crying for what I did.
I killed them ... abandoning them to themselves, as I had sworn never to do.

What kind of man am I, if not a beast made of pride and presumption?

The Sea on which we silently sail now that the Storm has passed has taken away the woman I loved, and my child. They were all I had.

All.

I have no money, I no longer have clothes with me except for the ones I'm wearing, I only had them.
And now, they're gone.

I am nothing without them.

All I have is the future, the sailors tell me. The route to follow is smoothed by the settlers of Jamestown and Virginia, I will find thousands of new paths waiting for me once we arrive.

They say that I will meet other women.
That I will fall for another woman.
That I can be happy again.
That I will find a new path to follow.

But I don't think so.

I don't want to follow a new path.