The Munchausen Diary

Crazy Love Diary

10-18-08

Therapist said I might benefit from writing down my thoughts. Figured I'd try. Not sure what she hopes I get out of it. I'm always feeling sick again. Hadn't felt like this since... Years. It's more than just the morning sickness. Mom says I really need to get away from Tom, it's him that makes me sick. She's been saying it for a while and I'm sure she's right. She's always there for me. She hates when I am sick, afraid she'll lose me. I can't do that to her.

10-20-08

Missed yesterday, just not in the habit yet. Tom didn't come down for dinner at mom's tonight. She's been saying he hates her, and I think she might be right. He said he had had enough dinners this week at moms house. So? She's my mom, of course we're gonna have dinner at her house. It makes her sad when we don't. It's not fair to her. She told me Molly wants an aurthur birthday for her second. Tom and I had been thinking about something around toy story. I'm sure Tom will freak out when I say we're doing Arthur.

10-23-08

I've been bad at keeping up with this. I have appointment tomorrow with therapist, so I wanted to be able to say I was still doing it. Tom was irrational about change to arthur birthday. As always, he blamed it on mom. I can't tell her, she'll be to sad. Ended up sleeping at moms. I was feeling a little sick after dinner. Tom just thinks I'm a hypochondriac, he's no help when I sick. Mom let me sleep in her bed, Molly too.

10-24-08

Therapist suggested I come with Tom next Tim. Told here I spent more nights at moms than at home. Tom is just so negative. Talks so much about getting away from my mom. He doesn'tnunderstand, or doesn't care, how much that would kill her. Losing one kid is enough, she can't go through that again.

10-29-08

I stayed at mom all this week, diary was there. Couldn't right. Tom keeps bugging me about staying at home. I feel so crummy, and he just makes me feel worse. He can't take care of me like mom does. And she is right, he does make it worse. Mom told me today how much happier and healthier I used to be, she just doesn't see it anymore.

11-2-08

Tom came to therapist. He's so manipulative. Mom warned me he would do this. She said bring him was a bad idea, that he would turn my therapist on me and especially my mom. Tom actually sunk low enough to blame recent problems on mom, and therapist actually fell for it. Stupid.

11-3-08

Made appointment with therapist for tomorrow. I really can't get over that she may think negatively of mom. Mom tells me not to let her fall for his manipulation.

11-4-08

So pissed! Therapist actually said she thought we needed to talk more about my mother. Bull! I said it was all toms fault, but she insulted my mother and said she thought there were some long standing problems,, perhaps an over attachment. I told mom everything. I think she is right, I can't see therapist anymore.

It's later, I called therapist office and left message canceled future appointments. Didn't want to have to talk to her again.

11-20-08

Haven't written much in a while. Forgot about diary in all the craziness. Moved out and am living with mom. Tom is such a jerk, tries to act like he wants Molly at home still. Was such a jerk at her 2nd bday party, so rude to my mom. She did so much, he was thankless. Wasn't happy that I had the party at her house instead of ours, well now it's his. He stresses me out so badly. Mom says it isn't good for the baby, that he's going to kill me with stress. I have been feeling less sick since moving out.

11-21-08

Tom tried to steal Molly tonight. I left her with my mom while I went out with some friends. Tom called and told my mom he was coming to take Molly away. I rushed home when mom called me. Tom and I had big fight. He tried to say I was a bad mom for leaving Molly with my mom, that if I wasn't with her, she should have been with him. Why does he hate when my mom takes care of her?!?! She loves Molly more than he ever could! Finally he left. Mom said I really need to think about protecting myself and Molly, that I needed a divorce. Seemed scary at first, but she really made sense. If I don't protect myself, he will steal Molly. Molly was asleep, so I got to go back out with my friends. I needed to get away. Wow, a long entry for once!