i might delete this.
but i'm angry.
dear logan paul,
you're not forgiven.
it's been a while, i know,
but as long as i still grieve,
my problems with you still fester.
i know,
forgiveness is good,
but allow me to explain
why that "apology"
you gave hasn't earned forgiveness
from me yet.
because this is personal,
to the man you filmed,
and to anyone who watched your video
or heard about it ,
and to me.
when i saw that man,
i saw my friend,
i saw her casket after she chose the same fate he did.
your laughter and comments
turned into the echoing sobs of students
in the hallway.
the stupid background music
of your videos
leaves "amazing grace"
ringing in my ears.
your merch
is the black dress i wore to her funeral.
your apology
became her eulogy.
all of your money combined
couldn't make me feel better
because it wouldn't bring her back.
don't you see?
this "one mistake"
made me relive all of the moments
where i realized my friend was gone
because she hated herself
more than we loved her.
so i'm sorry that i can't forgive,
not yet.
because your face,
it reminds me of
her grave.
YOU ARE READING
i miss you
Poetryfor anyone out there struggling, please live. trigger warning: if you are sensitive to allusions to suicide or death than please avoid this book. i thought this was completed but turns out grieving takes a crap ton of time.
