3:21 AM
Hospital
12/13/18
•••
"cmon momma, wake up please.. please," i whisper sitting next to her hospital bed. she hasn't seen me since i got here, i just want her to open her eyes. i wanna talk to her so badly.
beep.. beep ... beep.. beeep.. beep..
she started shifting in her sleep. "mom?" i say. she slowly opens her eyes and looks up. "momma! it's me, nicole!" i smile standing up.
beep... beep.. beep... beep
"oh darling I-"
beeeeeeeeep...
"momma?" i was shocked. not this early no, it can't be. "doctors! we need a doctor!!" i shout. a few doctors and nurses came rushing in. a few seconds later my mother blinked.
beep... beep... beep.. beep
i was still in shock. i don't know what happened. i don't think i wanna know. "im sorry," my mother whispered. "why? don't be, it's not your fault. nothing is," i reply sitting on the edge of her bed.
"i was never a good enough mom. i hate to leave like this," she continues, "im so sorry, please forgive me. its the one thing i want before i leave,"
"why would you ever think you were a terrible mother? you took amazing care of sam and i. dont be sorry for anything momma, i love you so much, im gonna miss you... a lot.." i reply.
beep... beep.... beep .... beep
my phone rang and I picked it up. I read the name on screen. "I gotta take this, I'm sorry," I say and hit the green button.
"hey," i say into the phone.
"what's up?" brandon replies. "how are you holding up?"
"alright, I'm visiting her now. what're you doing up so early? you need sleep b," I say taking a seat.
"I'm worried about you and your mother," he whispered.
"brandonnnnn," I sigh loudly. "What'd I say about worrying?" I say sternly.
"I know, I know! I couldn't help it," I could tell he had his pouting face on. it made me feel guilty now.
"just promise me not to do it again? work on more songs, I'll be excited to hear them when I get back," I smile.
"Fine," Brandon agrees.
"Thank youuu," i say laughing.
"anything for you, anything," He replies.
we continue talking for a little while until sam arrived. my mother had fallen back asleep so we waited for her to wake up. I could still hear the beeping in her room, it gave me huge anxiety.
beep... beep... beep.. beep..
we waited another three hours...
beep...beep...beep
another two hours...
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
a long hard beep came off the heart monitor. I could feel the lump in my throat building up. I knew this was it. sam grabbed my hand and held it right.
a bunch of doctors rushed into her room and tried to keep her alive. they tried once...
failed
second ones the best....
failed
"third times the charm," one of the doctors said unsure
failed
the doctors put their equipment away, and pulled the sheet over her head, disconnected her cords, and strolled her off down a hall.
I hugged sam and cried into his shoulder. he rubbed my back and rested his head on my shoulder. "why'd she leave, why? why so early," i whisper.
"I don't know Nic," sam replies. my phone rang but I didn't pick it up. instead, Sam picked it up and answered. he walked away with my phone and talked to the person who called. I sat there alone, crying staring at my mothers hospital room.
she was gone, she left the world without a final goodbye. it was the worst feeling in the entire world. the one who supported me, believed in me, loved me, cared for me, and most importantly she was my mother. i wish i spent more time with her, for closer. the relationship i had with my mother wasn't well. i hated it. i hate how she left like that. i hate how she left me. but i couldn't build up hate against her. it's not her fault, not mine, not sams, no ones. she died early for a reason, i needed to figure it out. everything happens for a reason, right? but what was the reasoning for this? why this early? was it to teach me a lesson? was it to end her suffering? was it because she didn't wanna see me? someone? someone was coming? i had many questions that weren't answered. but they will be, soon.
sam walked back over with my phone. "it was brandon," he says handing me my phone. "what'd he say?" I ask taking it from him. "he said he was very worried about you. he also said he really wants to be here with you now, and that he promises you'll be alright," sam told me. "I mean listen to the kid, he's right. you'll be fine..eventually. not soon, pain heals Nic, just stay strong for me? please?" sam looked over at me.
"I- I don't know what I'm gonna do without her," I drop my head.
"as long as we have each other everything's gonna be alright," sam smiled. "don't screw it up Nicole, I love you," Sam gave me a big hug. I guess you could say I was pretty lucky to have a brother like this, most teenage boys these days hate their siblings and don't wanna be near them. sam was.. different. that's what I liked about him.
~~~~
so, there's a reason for the date at the top.
as the years pass this date is gonna be very important to Nicole and the others because of what happened in the chapter.
yes, you're prob like "bUt ItS tHe FoUrTeEnTh" yes I know, but 12/13/12 is unfortunately when my mother had passed. it's a special date for me and means a lot.
thank you, hope u enjoyed.
(also sorry for the late late L A T E update💖)
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My Only Hope || b.a
Fanfiction"please Brandon, you're my only friend you can't just do this," "I can... and I have to. I'm sorry," "Please! Brandon! Take me with you!" "I can't," and with that, Nicole was left in the halls of Bridgewood High, alone just as it had been before.
