Shea Butter Baby

Trying Times

"Nigga What?" I blinked my eyes repeatedly trying to process what just happened.

"Bria, let me explain please..." he stepped closer to me.

"Nigga please fucking give me one good reason as to why you fucking left! You KNEW yet you had me alone during this pregnancy by MYSELF?!" I paced around the room, walking into the closet to put on my silk robe to cover up my body. After tying the belt around my waist, I exhaled standing in front of him waiting on him to respond.

He sighed and scratched the side of his arm. "Fuck, Bria I...I'm sorry okay? I didn't expect to fall in—," He sighed and redirected himself before he'd drop the inevitable 'L' bomb. "I thought you were just in it for the money at the time." He stuttered trying to get his words together.

"So you just thought I was some gold digging hoe? Hmn, is that what you thought of me?"

He rolled his eyes, scratched his head, and cleared his throat preparing himself for what he was about to say. "I'm not gonna lie, i did at first but you were so kind to me when I was in the hospital. I never experienced that type of love before not from anyone. I understand why you're mad and I'm sorry I'm just now telling you this. I was scared of becoming a father—"

"And you didn't think I was scared of becoming a mother? I NEEDED YOU! And you weren't there, I get it though I get it." I angrily laughed.

"We weren't two people in love that got together and made a baby, it was off of a one night stand. It was supposed to be just sex and then we never see each other again. But in that one night, within that amazing hour of having sex we somehow conceived a baby. I wasn't expecting a relationship from you, I didn't mean to sound thirsty or desperate I'd been single for about a year before I met you and you showed me some attention so I perused you." A few tears fell from the corners of my eyes which I quickly wiped away and continued.

"To be honest I don't even know why I kept Yara, I was traumatized about just the thought about getting an abortion. But what scared me the most was ending up just like my mother. My mother died from complications of giving birth to me and I never knew her. Yara gave me purpose and I have something to live for now, she brings me so much joy and I wish you could've experienced that joy with me while I was pregnant. That's all I wanted, Hearing her heartbeat, feeling her tiny foot prints in my stomach, watching my stomach morph and change as time went on... it was a beautiful experience and now you'll never know what it's like. I was in labor for several hours scared shitless and by myself I couldn't fucking coward out. You had that opportunity to experience what I had and you fucking blew it." I pushed my way through him to walk into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Adonis exhaled, feeling horrible for not being there with Bria when she needed him. Time and precious moments that he'd never get back or even experience. After feeling sorry for himself, he quickly pulled himself together and walked over to his dresser to pull out the drawer to find a pair of grey sweatpants. He quickly found a pair of grey Nike joggers and slipped them on before he'd go check on Yara and get her ready for the day.

———

As the day progressed, Donnie spent the day with Yara while Bria was at work at Rocky's gym. The two were now in the theater room sitting in a leather recliner watching home movies projected onto a screen in front of him. The movies were of his father and his adoptive mom in the eighties that he had made copies of the last time he was in LA before he moved to Philly.

"See that, that's your nana and papa." He pointed to the screen as she sat in his lap with his arm wrapped around her tiny upper half while her fingers were in her mouth.

"You favor papa." He chuckled to see that she was more interested in the remote in his hands than the video on the screen.

"He'd be so excited to meet you babygirl." Yara responded by making baby noises.