My mind was all over the place as I stepped into the shower. I wasn't sure how long I could keep going with this heavy burden of guilt planted firmly on my shoulders. Trying to keep my lies straight and avoiding Jared had worked so far, but I knew that it would catch up with me at some point. Maybe I would confuse myself and slip up without even realizing it.
The sad thing is that I never planned on sleeping with Jared. It's not like I went to New York with the intention of seeking him out just to have an affair, it just happened. This little fact didn't make me any less guilty, of course, but instead, showed just how weak I really was.
I stood in the shower, lost in the way things went down that weekend. It began when my sister asked me to fly to New York with her for the weekend. She just wanted to get away for a few days and since Shannon was going to be out of town, I decided to go. Our cousin Tiffani, who just happened to live in Manhattan, offered us her tiny apartment. As it turned out, she would be out of town on a business trip. I told Shannon that I was leaving with Angela and would be back late Monday, but I didn't tell him where I was going.
Ang and I flew out Friday and the apartment manager handed over the key that Tiff left for us. I had only been to New York once with Shannon, but Angela used to live there and had a few friends in the area. She called them and I could hear her talking about meeting up.
We decided to catch up with them at a club. Little did I know, this wasn't your average club. I knew immediately that I was a little over dressed and cringed at the attire of the people surrounding me. I had a few drinks and tried to stop my eyes from bulging at what I was seeing around me. Some women were completely naked and on a leash, some had costumes that barely covered them, but all appeared to be confident. I'd never seen anything like this, I'd heard of it, but never actually seen it up close. Angela and Ben were more than just friends, that much I could tell and if this was their idea of fun, I should've stayed at Tiffani's. The two other guys that we arrived with, had long disappeared. Hearing my name being called, I turned around, stunned to see Jared. No matter how many times I saw him, each time made my heart beat faster. I had no idea he was in New York and I felt twisted inside at the sight of him. He looked so hot and I knew it was wrong for me to even look at him like that anymore. After all, I was his brother's girl now.
"Skylar, what are you doing in New York? Shan didn't tell me you'd be here."
"Shannon's out of town and I didn't tell him where I was going. Ang asked me to come with her for the weekend." I couldn't stop my wandering eyes from checking him out. "What about you?"
He laughed. "And you come here? This is no place for a beautiful woman to be all alone." His eyes scanned up and down my body.
"Oh, I'm not alone. Angela and her friends are here." I pointed over to my sister who was holding Ben's hand. She turned to smile at me before they walked down a long hallway. "Shit!"
"Looks like you're all alone now, princess." He grinned. "Come on, I'll help you find her, but you're not allowed to take this." He pulled the drink from my hand and led me down the same hallway.
Before I could protest, Jared was pulling me to a window where I had to read the rules about what was allowed and what wasn't. I looked at him like he was crazy when he told me that I had to sign, stating that I understood. He handed me a pen and after I signed, they stamped my hand. Where the hell did Angela go and why the fuck did she leave me all alone? I felt sick.
As we moved further in, I was mesmerized by the scenes going on all around us, but I couldn't find Angela and Ben anywhere. Jared studied me closely with a huge grin on his face. I observed everything that was happening around me. "I can tell how uncomfortable you are. You used to be so adventurous, what happened to you?"
"I'm still adventurous, but I couldn't possibly get into this shit without Shannon here. Also, there's the fact that you're here. It's just too fucked up being this close to you, especially in a place like this."
He cocked his head to the side. "Fair enough. Why don't you come back to my hotel room and wait for her." He grabbed my arm and looked at me. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise. Just text her and tell her where you'll be."
It was pointless to argue. Angela had the key to Tiffani's apartment, so it's not like I had anywhere else to go.
He held my hand, leading me out of the club and I sat next to him in the cab, feeling guilty that I was kind of a bitch to him. He just stared out the window not saying a word. After a ten minute ride, we arrived at the hotel and I followed behind him all the way to his suite. Once inside, I apologized. "Jared, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such a bitch." I thought back to our brief relationship years ago and it only made things more complicated, for me at least. I'd always have feelings for him. This wasn't fair to Shannon, but I just assumed in time, it would fade away.
His tone changed and he seemed cold all of a sudden. "No, it's fine. I'm going to sleep on the couch, you take the bed." He said flatly as he sat on the couch. I stepped into the bedroom of the enormous suite and kicked my boots off. I lay across the comfortable bed and text Angela, but got no response.
A few minutes later, Jared entered, standing at the side of the bed with his hands on his hips. "I need a pillow and the sheet."
I stood up, handing over the two extra pillows, but he tossed them to the floor and grabbed me. I let him kiss me, holding my breath and I closed my eyes as his lips pressed against mine. His hands tugged at my shirt and I carelessly ripped his open. The passion was still very much alive between us. It was like we couldn't get each other naked fast enough.
Once I was stripped down, he forced me to lay back on the edge of the bed and stepped closer. Taking an ankle in each hand, he spread me open for him. I could feel his hard cock pushing against my dripping slit. He was so strong and determined to get what he wanted. Reaching down, I guided him into me.
"Jesus, Skylar!" His words were spoken between clenched teeth.
Letting go of my ankles, he leaned over me, squeezing my breasts before sliding both of his hands around my neck. My legs locked around his slender waist. God, this was what I had been missing. The way his hands felt on my body, rough, yet gentle. He knew exactly what he was doing and my body responded to him so well, it always did.
Our bodies moved perfectly together like so many times before. The only way to describe the chemistry between us was to say it was magical. I couldn't think straight as my body spiraled toward release. My hands gripped the sheets tightly as I came apart under him. His name echoed throughout the room and before I had even come down from my amazing high, I began to cry.
Feeling him explode inside of me, I listened to the way my name dripped from his lips. Dropping his head against me, he groaned. Why was he so sexy? What we had done was so wrong, but he still had the power to make me want him. The awkward silence filled the air and I pulled the sheet up to cover myself as I turned my back to him. Now what?
