screaming color // n.h. au

part 17

the rain leaves cole feeling wet to her skin for days, damp like dew on morning grass. when she kissed niall she felt warm from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes, and she holds onto the feeling as long as she can, wears it like a second skin. when they made it to the coffee shop, she dropped niall's hand to squeeze out her hair, and when he laughed at her it ran like an electric shock through her body and made her laugh too.

niall does that to her. he charges the air with electricity when he's around, and sometimes even when he's not. sometimes all cole has to do is think about him. she'll wave her hand through the air too fast and set off sparks, or he'll smile at her with crinkly eyes and make her feel ready to combust. it's dangerous and exciting and it feels exactly right.

she feels more free, more in control. niall's kissed her goodnight and good morning and several times in between over the course of the week and the part of cole's brain that was always second-guessing has shut itself off. cole knows now, knows in the soles of her feet and deep down in her stomach, that when niall looks at her, he's only thinking good things.

"you seem different," april says. cole only shrugs and smiles. she and niall haven't talked about it, haven't labeled things, but cole doesn't mind. this is theirs, and it doesn't belong to anyone else. it's theirs to have for themselves. for each other.

she notices on a friday when the sky is bright with spring stars that niall has started using her shampoo. she hasn't seen niall in a few days and she can feel his absence like an aching soreness at the back of her skull, like a tension headache. there was a time, many months ago, so long ago that the memories creek with age when she plays them back in her mind, when it was niall's presence, not his absence, that gave cole a headache. or maybe that was all a lie. it's hard to be sure, now that niall is someone she sees every day and never stops thinking about.

on friday evening, she pushes open niall's bedroom door after her last class of the week and finds him asleep in his jeans on top of the bedclothes, his vans discarded haphazardly on the floor. his laptop sits on the desk, hanging precariously over the edge, and cole pushes it securely onto the wooden surface before setting her bag on the chair, on top of all of niall's dirty clothes. cole looks from the mess to niall's sleeping form and wonders if he's gotten a full night's sleep this week.

then she kicks off her boots and climbs up next to him, pressing her body against his gently until he scoots over to make space for her. she's pretty sure he's still asleep, but his arm comes up and wraps around her shoulder, and he swings his leg over hers. it makes her heart flip, the way he gravitates toward her even when he's not conscious.

cole closes her eyes and rests her head beside his. she's exhausted, but she knows she won't fall asleep, not when her brain is whirring at top speed, thinking a thousand thoughts a minute. are niall's eyes closer to the color of a spring sky or a summer ocean? she wonders. then she thinks of all the times she's slept in this bed before, all the times she fell asleep in her book and woke up with a crick in her neck because niall was too afraid to touch her.

there's no fear now. cole's stomach jumps with excitement and hope, and the future doesn't scare her. cole listens to niall's steady breathing and she feels content in this moment, settled. happy.

after a few minutes, she feels niall stir beside her, around her. his hand flexes on her back and then presses tighter to her skin. cole opens her eyes to watch his face as he comes awake. this is rare for her: it's usually niall watching her wake up, not the other way around. his eyes blink open, and then he smiles at her.

"how was your day?" he asks, voice breathy.

"shh, you're sleeping," she says. her fingers slip underneath the hem of his t-shirt and spread across the skin of his back. he's always so hot to the touch, hot enough to warm cole up on the coldest day. he smiles at her touch.

"no, 'm talking to you." his hand comes up and pushes cole's hair out of her face. "you smell good."

cole can't help but laugh at niall's sleepy eyes and slow words. "thanks. so do you." then she notices–tea tree and mint. "is that my shampoo?"

niall's eyes crinkle as he smiles. "maybe?"

"did you steal it from me?" cole asks, eyebrow raised, but she's not angry. she knows someday she might be mad at niall, but she can't imagine that now, not when he's grinning at her so sheepishly from underneath red cheeks.

"just the extra bottle from your wardrobe," niall says. "i missed ya."

"what?" cole's heart beats a love song in her chest. "it's only been a few days."

niall shakes his head. "haven't seen ya since tuesday. that's four days."

cole hadn't realized. she's been so busy, and niall's been busy too, and he'd texted her good morning and goodnight and silly selfies, and though she'd felt their distance physically, in the pit of her stomach and the base of her brain, she hadn't measured it in hours the way that niall had.

"well, i'm here now," she says. niall kisses her and he smells like her shampoo and he tastes like sleep, but she doesn't mind. when he pulls back, cole notices the red in his eyes.

"you tired?" she asks. she runs her thumb across the softness of his cheek.

"a bit." niall smiles again. he's always smiling at her. "you're my favorite nap buddy."

cole laughs at that. that's a label she hadn't thought of before, a label to label this thing that they didn't want to label. "you're my favorite nap buddy, too."

niall swoops forward to kiss her on the nose. "sweet dreams, cole."

"sweet dreams." niall's grin is the last thing she sees before she closes her eyes.