stars

twenty-two

Phoebe

Brooke went back to ignoring me. I wish that would stop. After all, yesterday, she hugged me. That should've been a step forward. Unfortunately, it was a step forward and then immediately backward. I ate my lunch, staring over at her. She sat next to Noah, void of emotion. She just stared down at her tray. I wish she'd come back and sit at our table again. I wish we were still friends. I think I still have feelings for her. Of course, the feelings were barely there. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have lots of feelings for. I looked at Angel. She was talking and laughing about something with Alex. Oliver was absent today. I went back to looking at Brooke.

Noah was talking to his friends, completely ignoring his girlfriend. Brooke looked miserable and tired. What did Brooke mean last night? When she yelled at Noah to tell and that she didn't care. Tell who what? I realized that Noah was holding Brooke's hand. Why did Brooke want her boyfriend to go away? Why was Noah banging on the door last night? I'm pretty sure he left a couple dents. Noah looked over at Brooke, who looked up at Noah with the same emotionless face. He smiled, kissed her, and looked at his friends again. Brooke still had no emotion. She stared at the table. She didn't have lunch today. Again. I frowned. What was going on with her? 

I desperately wanted to get up and drag her back to my table. The only thing that stopped me was the realization that she'd only shove me away, telling me how much she hates me. I sighed and looked down at my lunch tray which was basically finished. I got up, throwing away my trash, then sat back down. I looked over at Angel. She was staring at me, concerned. So was Alex. "Pheebs, are you okay? You've been lost in space since lunch started." Alex asked. I nodded, playing with my hoodie sleeves. Angel smiled, still worried. 

"Are you sure honey?" I smiled and nodded again. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking about random stuff. You two can go back to talking." Angel nodded and slowly transitioned into talking with Alex about something. I kept staring at Brooke. Maybe I'll pass her a note next period asking if she's okay. I lay my head down on the lunch table, putting my bookbag on my back. Thoughts ran through my mind, wondering if Brooke would respond to my note or if she'd just tell me to leave her alone again. I frowned at the thought. I just want things to go back to like when I first met her. She was my best friend, considering Alex and Oliver were only hanging out with each other and not with me ninety percent of the time. Now, I don't have her as a friend at all. I looked up, resting my chin on the table, going back to stare at her. Her long hair was in a messy ponytail, strands falling out of her hair. She was as pretty as I remembered her. She was wearing Noah's jean jacket, a red shirt, and black skinny jeans. She wore my old red converse, which I don't remember if I gave them to her or not. I mentally shrugged. Just another reason to talk to her if she comes home today. 

The teachers dismissed us from lunch. Angel walked me to English class. It was across the school campus, so Angel had to speed-walk to her next class to get there on time. "See you in P.E." She let go of my hand. 

"You know, you don't have to walk me to class. You're going to be super late one of these days." I said. She smiled.

"I know, but I like to do it. I don't mind. So hush, let me do some cute couple stuff with you. Anyways, I'll see you in P.E, okay? Don't let Brooke be mean to you." Angel walked away. I smiled and walked into class. Brooke wasn't here yet, which was strange. She was usually one of the first here. She was probably making out with her dumb boyfriend in some janitors closet. I saw the kids rush in, laughing. Brooke was the last to enter. She was holding her arm, looking down. She sat in the very back, a seat behind me. As she walked closer I could see that her face was red and puffy. 

I tore a corner off of a random piece of paper and wrote on it. Hey, u okay? Were u crying?? I folded it and passed it back to Brooke. After a couple seconds, she leaned forward and placed it on my desk. I opened it, seeing what she wrote. Yes. Leave me alone and focus on the teacher. I turned around and frowned. The bell rang, the teacher walked in, and the class started. 

I turned around, staring at the board, still thinking of Brooke. I decided to pass another note. Why were u crying?  I passed it. After a couple of minutes, when the teacher was on her computer, Brooke passed the note back. None of your business. Seriously just focus on the dumb work, k? I wrote on the back. Did it have to do with Noah? You can tell me, u know. I passed it. I never got anything back. 

The bell rang for class to end. Everyone got up and placed the work on the teacher's desk. Most kids walked out, even the teacher did, but I didn't. I stopped Brooke from walking out too. "I need to talk to you," I told her. 

"I have nothing to say to you," Brooke replied, seeming anxious to get out. 

"Look, I know you absolutely despise me, okay? There's no hiding that fact." I sighed. "But you never answered my question. First, the cuts and bruises, and now you show up to class crying. What's going on? Again, is Noah-" 

"Noah isn't doing anything, Phoebe. How do you know I didn't do this to myself, huh?" Brooke replied. She didn't sound mad. She sounded more scared to me. 

"Brooke-" 

"No, Phoebe! It's none of your business. You... You aren't my friend, so leave me alone, okay?" Brooke said. 

"I know," I was desperate for her to stay. Something was wrong and I'm going to find out what. "Okay? I know that. Just shut up and listen. I'm worried about you. You tell me your huge secret and then decide to hate me. That isn't right. Something's missing here. I don't recall doing anything. Either tell me what's going on, or I'm going to find out." She kept looking out the door as if trying to decide if she should stay or go. I was so desperate for her to tell me what was wrong. I needed to figure out why she hated me and why we aren't friends. 

"I-" Brooke looked down. "Just leave me alone. Please? I can't handle this." Her voice cracked and I could tell she was starting to cry again. I was going to move in and hug her, but she moved away, hitting the wall with her back, then sliding down to the floor. She put her hand on her forehead and started to cry. "I hate you." She whispered. 

"Why?" I crouched down, looking at her. I moved her hair out of her face. I spoke softly, "Why do you hate me, Brooke?" 

"Because I have to!" Brooke sobbed out. "I have to hate you. He'll get mad." 

"Noah?" Brooke nodded, crying into her arms. I put my arm on her shoulder. "Brooke, you can break up with him, you know?" 

"No, I can't. He said if I do," Brooke hiccuped, still sobbing. "He said if I do he'll be mad. I don't want him to be mad. I know what he'll do if he gets mad." 

"Will he hit you? Is that why you have bruises?" Brooke barely nodded. She looked up. The sight of her sobbing made my heart break. I hugged her. She hugged me back, sobbing in my shoulder. 

"He'll do more than that." She mumbled into my shoulder. "He said he'll hurt what's most prized to me. I don't know if he means you or the ocean, but I don't want to risk either of them." She sobbed. I rubbed circles on her back, trying to calm her down. 

"It's okay, Brooke," I said softly. She kept sobbing into my shoulder, and I let her. "It's okay." 

----

(So. Again, I'm just not going to say anything besides the next couple chapters will be uhh sad? I guess? Adios. <3)