Sans x Thanos

I'm sorry

As one punch man rounded the corner on his way to the kitchen he heard weird noises coming from the door next to him. His curiosity got the best of him and he opened the door to find Thanos facing the wall."you ok bro?" asked one punch man .Thanos turned with sans arms hanging around his neck.One punch man realized what was happening and immediately turned around shutting the door behind him. He blushed at the thought of what he had just witnessed. He figured he would just forget what happened and walked into the kitchen. As he was finishing making his sandwich, Thanos walked by, blushing as he made eye contact with him."(huh, he must be remembering earlier)" he shrugged it off and went away with his sandwich. As he opened the door to his room He found sans in there searching for something,"uh, hello?" said one punch man confused on what to say at the sight of this. Sans got up startled and ran out of the room."(man, what a weird day)" he figured that if he wanted this to stop he would have to speak with them about the incident. He finished his sandwich and headed for the store. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect, he couldn't ruin his relationship with his two best friends. As he headed home he heard strange noises coming from the alleyway next to him, The noises sounds familiar at first but he couldn't tell. He decided he should check on what was happening in case it was a mugging or something. One Punch Man set down the groceries and went into the alleyway. He couldn't see what was happening at first due to a dumpster blocking his view. So he walked further down, only to find a shirt-less Thanos."T-thanos?" said One Punch man confused. Thanos jumped up and turned around, His are were behind his back as if he was hiding something,"One Punch Man?! What are you doing here ?!" He looked guilty of something but he couldn't figure out what it was."I was just getting some groceries, what are you doing?" Asked One Punch Man. Thanos hesitated for a moment and then started to speak"I was uh, Just going for a jog" Being as innocent as One Punch Man is, he believed him, but then he heard a clatter coming from behind Thanos."What was that?" he asked, Thanos whipped around from checking on what was behind him and immediately replied,"nothing!" This time One Punch Man didn't believe him."Are you sure, because I could have sworn I heard Sans." Thanos looked speech-less, His face was paler than usual, and his pupils looked as if they couldn't get any smaller."uh, it was just um...Raccoons! Yes, it was just some raccoons" One Punch Man decided he should not push any further, "Ok then, goodbye" One Punch Man walked out of the alleyway and saw Sans sneaking into the comic shop. The strange thing was he was holding Thanos's shirt and gauntlet, Thanos didn't ever take off his gauntlet. He was surprised he had not noticed this earlier in the alleyway. Sans caught sight of One Punch Man and ran inside."(huh, must've been in a rush)" He didn't think much of it and carried on with his day. As he was about to open the door to his home, he could hear Thanos and Sans talking,"This isn't good, He almost caught us again"He could hear Thanos sigh,"maybe we should just tell him"One Punch man heard a loud smack"Are you insane!? Think of what would happen then! He would hate us for keeping it secret!" One Punch Man opened the door and looked at both of them. Their faces turned pale as the watched him walked down the stairs towards them."Hi guys" said One Punch Man angrily"oh no" Sans whispered to Thanos just loud enough for him to hear."oh um,hello, how much of that did you hear" One Punch Man was infuriated, how could his best friends lie to him."Hi guys!" a voice that sounded extremely similar to One Punch Mans was coming from the entrance of their home.A person walked down the stairs, the strange thing was they looked exactly like One Punch Man."oh, it seems you are here as well" The guy looked straight at him."Welp, I guess I don't have to use this disguise anymore" The man proceed to reach his arm backwards and unzipped his human meat suit. The mans face was still covered but his identity was known by all of them, it was Naruto and his boyfriend Bert.They all gasped at the sight of this and Thanos was the only one who looked confused,"How did the- what?" His confusion was soon shared by all of them. How did a 6 foot 3.5 inch man fit in a One Punch Man sized meat suit with Naruto? That is still unknown, but what is known is why they are there."Me and Bert here have an argument we want to settle, Some think that he could win against a fight with me. We came to see if you would be the judge of that."Sans shot up"of course! Why wouldn't we!" Sans pushed One Punch Man toward the door with Bert and Naruto."You go do that while me and Thanos put away the groceries. Come on Thanos, we have business to tend to"Sans shoved us all out of the room and slammed the door behind us,"well that was strange" said Bert confused."yeah, strange..."he replied, he knew that they weren't putting groceries away, but he figured he wouldn't tell Naruto and Bert at the moment. They headed for the arena to settle Bert and Naruto's argument. One Punch Man waited until one of them fell from exhaustion and it looked like it would go on forever. He ended up falling asleep. He woke to Bert hiding in the corner, or so it seemed. He realized that Naruto was nowhere to be found.Until he heard screaming from the other side of the arena. He looked over to Naruto running away from something. He thought that's what Bert was doing, but then Bert came out with a gun and aimed it in Naruto's direction. A flash of blue circled the arena, and then it stopped in front of me."One Punch Man!? Where have you been bro?!" It was Sonic, His old "buddy" in high school."Sonic?!" all the memories flooded into his brain, he remembered all the good and bad times they had together. Then he remembered the "incident". He remembered how Sonic had tried to kiss him on the last day of college."So, this is where you have been living? It's a nice town. You got a girlfriend yet?" asked Sonic eagerly."No, i'm not really into the whole dating thing"all of the sudden there was a loud bang, and Sonic fell to the floor."I got him!" yelled Bert holding a 44' caliber. "Sonic!" Yelled One Punch Man as he fell to the ground next to him. Sonic was limp for a good 5 minutes as Bert, Naruto and One Punch Man argued about why they shot him. Then Sonic jumped up, scaring everybody, "Haha, got ya'" turns out he had been faking the whole time. After that they all went back to One Punch Man's house. They don't know who won because One Punch Man fell asleep. As One Punch Man opened the door it was slammed back shut before anyone could even see inside."oh no! They're back!" through the door you could hear someone inside rushing around everywhere. One Punch Man punched the door causing it to fly across the room. They all thought it was robbers, but turns out it was Thanos and Sans. every one turned away their heads, but for some reason Sonic didn't."S-s-sans?" Sans blushed, "it's not what you think! We were ju-" Sonic started yelling,"Shut up! There is not explanation for this! I already know whats going on! I thought you loved me!" Thanos realized what was happening and started walking back slowly, "your not going anywhere!" Yelled Sonic as he ran to block Thanos. "Look bro, I didn't kn-" Sonic looked infuriated for a moment, but then that rage turned into sadness. Sonic started crying. "If i can't have him, no one can!" Sonic took his pocket knife out and stabbed Sans. He then stabbed himself and they both laid there bleeding out. Thanos stood there, frozen. Naruto and Bert stood there gasping, they knew they couldn't do anything to stop what was happening. One Punch Man stood there with his head drooped. He was angry. Sonic was the first person to show him compassion.In school all the kids would bully him for being bald. But Sonic put a stop to that by brutally killing the bullies. Then One Punch Man moved and never saw him again. He thought he heard Sonic come up in a conversation with Sans a while back, but he never thought anything of it. Now he was dead, his friends turned their backs on him, and Naruto and Bert are just standing there watching. He didn't know what to do. He thought about running out but his feet wouldn't move. He felt like he had been stabbed in his gut. And that was because he had. While he was moping around Thanos pulled the knife out of Sans and tossed it across the room, he didn't pay attention to here it was thrown. One Punch Man stood there. He was tired of getting pushed around. He grabbed the knife and threw it back at Thanos."I'm sick of this!" he walked out of the house, his blood trailing behind him."Also, I'm taking the cat" Thanos got mad as well,"we don't own a cat!" One Punch Man didn't care for his remark, he just picked up a random dog that was in front of the door and walked off. He found himself at the shore. Soon he realized he didn't live anywhere near the shore. He lived in the middle of the U.S. He sighed and walked back the way he came. As he walked back he realized he was still going the wrong way, this time he was in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. He got angry and continued to walk forward, he didn't care where he ended up, as long as he was away from his so called 'friends' he walked on until he found land. He had ended up in Egypt somehow. He find himself at a palace. No one was around except for One Punch Man. He opened the doors and walked inside. "hello?" he didn't get a response. He walked further inside. As he neared the stair way he heard a door creak. "is anybody here" he asked, he was getting kinda scared. He heard a big bang and turned around to see 5 siluets through the fog. They got closer and closer until he could make out their faces."Wait, your not Dio" said the red haired one. One Punch Man was confused."(who are they)" he thought."here I am!" a blond haired guy jumped down from the balcony above us. "And if you move any closer, My stand will kill him!" He pointed to One Punch Man and immediately they all reacted. "DO YOU KNOW DA WAIE?" everybody turned around and saw Ugandan Knuckles with a fedora on looked down. He finally looked up and you could see his eyes. He stepped forward and said it again, "DO YOU KNOW DA WAIE?" The blond guy(Dio) started laughing. So did everyone else. Except for One Punch Man. He knew that Ugandan Knuckles was no joke. He was known for this phrase, and for killing the people who laughed at him.¨"Jotaro, Avdol, Polnareff, Kakyoin, come on." said an old guy. Dio put his arms in the air as if he was doing ballet,"not so fast!" This made One Punch Man laugh."What are you gonna do? Dance them to death!" One Punch Man laughed uncontrollably, he couldn't help it, even though it was a horrible joke he found it funny."You dare make fun of me?! ZA WORLDO"Dio disappeared, or so he thought, "Look out! Behind you!" One Punch Man turned around to find Dio stabbing him in the chest," Again! How many times must I be stabbed!" yelled One punch Man,"Come on Ugandan, lets go" Ugandan and One Punch Man left and never saw them again. As they were crossing the Atlantic they came across a giant boat in the water,"Whoa, is that the titanic? "One Punch Man said excitedly."Do you know da waie?" said Ugandan.They ignored it due to Ugandans superstitions about the Titanic sinking because of aliens. The finally made it back to the USA and they met Bert on their way. Apparently Bert and Naruto had an argument again and they broke up. So Bert, Ugandan, and One Punch Man joined together and walked onto One Punch Man's home. There they found something very unexpected. They found Thanos hanging from a ceiling fan and his IPod playing the 'This is How You Tie a Noose' song. Ugandan shook his head, "do you know the way." he said to himself, sounding disappointed. "What a terrible tragedy..." said Bert. One punch man stood there looking at the incident. Three was yellow police tape around the area where Sonic and Sans died, alcohol everywhere, Chinese take out all over the couch, and old tape from when the all graduated high school together. One Punch Man didn't shed a single tear. In fact he smiled. He started to laugh quietly, but his laugh gradually got louder, it got louder and louder until even the neighbors 2 doors down could hear. Bert and Ugandan Knuckles backed away, "do you know the way?"One Punch Man turned his head towards them, Bert knew what was going on. One Punch Man had always been like this. He knew there was only one thing to do, Bert bit his hand and transformed into the colossal titan. He picked up One Punch Man, and threw him as hard as possible but as One Punch Man was about to hit the ground he charged up a punch. The punch stopped him from taking fall damage. He got up and ran back to where Bert and Ugandan was. He charged up a punch again and took Bert by surprise. Bert was no longer the colossal titan and took way to much damage for any normal human to bear. He ended up with a giant hole in his chest. Ugandan"faced One Punch Man who know looked more insane than ever. "stop dis madness" Ugandan said, taking One Punch Man by surprise, no one knew he could speak English, using this as a distraction Ugandan charged up a punch of his own, much stronger than that of One Punch Mans. One Punch Man flew across the clearing,"do you know the waie?" One Punch Man paused."yes, I do know the way. The way to killing you and Bert" One Punch Man retorted badly. Ugandan charged up his punch as One Punch Man did his. They met in the middle of the clearing, Ugandans punch was still powerful, while One Punch Mans was not as powerful as his others, the hit he took from Ugandan wore him out. One Punch Man flew across the clearing again and he was impaled by a street sign that fell down during the first hit he took. "Goodbye One Punch Man, I hope you know da waie" said Ugandan as One Punch Man slowly closed his eyes, and fell into the eternal rest we all know as death.