Save Me Tonight (One Direction FanFic)

Chapter 27

I don't know how long I layed there sobbing into my pillow. It could have been hours, days, or even just a few minutes. I tend to lose all sense of time when I cry. I don't now why though.

My sobs were too loud for me to hear the door of my room slamming open. I hear words too, you could tell that the voices were loud and in distress, but I was unable to understand them. In just a second arms wrapped tightly around me. My body stiffened at the contact but my position didn't change, I just went on crying like never before.

Even though I was crying, I couldn't help but to notice one small thing very quickly. I felt a small sense of relief, like there was a weight lifted right off my shoulder. I lied there for a moment crying and pondering on that thought, but I was interrupted by a panicked voice right next to me, "Fuck, fucking hell, what the fuck happened?! Sam?! Sam! Baby!?"

Niall.

No, I don't want him to see me like this. I know how much it hurts him.

"N-Niall, j-j-just l-leave, p-p-p-please!" I tried to choke out.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam!" he stressed, tightening his arms around me. "Dammit, can one of you guys turn the laptop off!"

The others were here? Fucking hell why do they all have to see me in all my shitty states!? I tired to lift my head off of Niall's chest, trying to turn away. Niall wouldn't let go of me though, if anything he tightened his arms even more.

"I'm not going to let you go, Sam. Dammit I'll never let go. Please Sam, can you just stay in my arms and relax? Just relax and cry, just dry your eyes out babe." his voice stayed soothing, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

There in his arms I cried for hours and hours, I'm sure it was that long. When I finished crying his shirt was completely soaked. I just sat there in his arms then, just sniffling and holding him too, "I'm sorry you guys, I think I just royally fucked up." I murmered, afraid to look them all in the eyes.

"Sam, what happened?" Harry said, sitting on the bed next to us. He grabbed one of my hands and rubbed circles into my palm.

I stayed silent for a second and looked away at the wall, trying not to cry again, " The twitcam. They- I... I told them." I whispered, tears falling slwoly down my cheeks. I no longer had the energy to sob anymore.

"W-what do you mean by 'everything', Sam?" Niall said, looking confused. 

I took a deep breathe and was finally able to look them all in the eyes, "I told them about everything. Just as I said. I told them what happened to my Mum, how she died. I told them about my depression... the cutting... I'm so sorry you guys... I... I fucked up... This is going to hurt you guys so much." I bit the inside of my cheek, I won't cry anymore. This isn't the time.

They all looked at me in shock, mouths and eyes wide open. Liam was the first to speak up, " Same, love, we understand. Nothings going to happened to us, so don't worry about us. Let's worry about you right now." 

"No! No this is going to hurt you guys! People will talk shit about me and then they'll talk shit about you! I'm used to being called names and being hated, you guys don't need that. You have so many fans that love you, and even though they're amazing people some of them won't understand... this... me..."

Niall took hold of my face and made me look at him, "I don't care if this ruins us Sam. You said the things you said and do you regret telling them?"

"I only regret them because you guys might get hurt." 

"But if we were for sure not getting hurt, would you regret anything." He asked me, pushing the question hard.

I thought for a minute. If nothing happened to them... Would I be worried? No. No I wouldn't. The only reason I haven't told anyone is because it might hurt them, the only reason I didn't tell them for a long time is because they might get hurt. "No..."

"Then don't worry. We can take care of this, I promise you." He whispered gently, kissing me lightly.

I didn'y say anything.

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We went to a different state then, I'm not sure where. We had three month's left of this tour, when it's over we would go home, just in time for Christmas. We left home after Christmas, and they assuered that we would be home just in time to celebrate holiday with our families. 

I haven't left the hotel room for a week. The lads didn't want me to. Des stayed with me while the boys went out and did what they had to do. 

There was everything I needed in the hotel, food, tellie, and internet. Though they wouldn't let me go on the websites I liked to go on. LIke Facebook, Tumblr, and all of those websites that might tell me shit.

So I just sat there, eating whatever and playing dressup games on my computer. Well, not only dressup games, but mostly. I also played Minecraft and World of Warcraft. I played Skyrim on the TV, and I never thought I would ever say this, but those violent games got boring after a few hours! I almost passed out when I told the boys that, I played more games than they did!

"Des... Dessy I'm bored." I pouted and sat upside down on the couch. So... very... bored.

She rolled her eyes, but they never left the TV screen. She's playing Call of Duty, I would be playing with her, but she gets very... agressive when she plays. Needless to say I'm scared to play with her.

"Bitch, go draw a picture or something. Stop being a whiney ass." She huffed, getting annoyed when I talk to her while she plays.

I pouted and threw a pencil eraser at her head, running away while it was still in the air. I went into my room and rummaged through my bags, I'm gonna listen to her and draw something. Though I can't remember if I brought all my sketch stuff with me.

I looked through all my bags, since I don't ever unpack anything when we go around place to place. I just live out of my bags.

I sighed and walked out of my room, heading towards Zayn's. If I don't have my stuff I'll just have to use Zayn's. Back while they were on the X Factor I convinced him to buy real art siplies, so he wasn't just using a number two pencil and printing paper. I went to the art store and helped him pick out markers, pencils, paper, we spent so much freaking money that day, I think I let him spend all of my Christmas money, but it was worth it. 

Everytime I saw him we would just sit around and draw together. He taught me how to draw comics while I taught him how to draw more realistic pictures. 

I went through Zayn's small suitcase, the one that holds all of his hobbie shit. Books, computers, art stuff. I took out a sketch pad, pens, and pencils. Both coloured  and plain. Going to the spot with the bbest lighting, the kitchen, i set up all the stationary. 

Now, what to draw, what to draw. I opened his sketch book, starting from the back. This is what we always do when we share sketchbooks, starting from the back so we don't see the others drawings. Normal people keep diaries and journals, we keep sketchbooks.

I opened the pen set that I had gotten Zayn for his birthday, taking out a 0.4 black pen. This was the thickness that I always liked to use when starting an anime drawing. So far I know that I want to draw a cartoon of sorts, or even just a cartoon character. 

 When I draw chartoons I like to draw celebrities, mostly people from bands that I listen to. But then it accured to me that I had never drawn a picture of the boys. 

I leaned on my left elbow and started drawing with my right. 

By the time the boys got home I had finished the drawings and was feeling amazing.