hear my call | brian may

before--six

December 1962

"So how come you only call me at eleven P.M. on weekends?" Brian asked one night as Sera laid on her stomach on her bed, the phone sitting by her. They'd been on the phone for thirty minutes or so, the clocks on their walls ticking slowly as midnight approached. It wasn't even technically a weekend--it was winter holiday, and Sera would be going home the next day for Christmas.

Sera smiled, shrugging. "I don't know," she replied. "It's the only time I have alone, I guess."

"Who's with you that you're so afraid of hearing?"

"My roommate, Mary. She's also my best friend. She's spending break with her boyfriend, Calvin." Sera cleared her throat. "And it's not that I'm afraid of her hearing, either. I just know I'll never hear the end of it if she did hear."

"Is she nosey?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Sera admitted. "I'll be really honest with you, Brian. She's made fun of me nonstop since we started corresponding like this. She doesn't even know about the phone calls yet."

"Really?"

"She really doesn't," Sera said. "I don't think she'd understand, either."

On his end of the phone, Brian was staring out his window, watching a car go by his house. Practically nothing ever happened in his neighborhood, but he was grateful for that. He didn't have to deal with sirens and traffic and chaos like he did when he was in the heart of London. He could only imagine what Sera felt like, since she technically went to school and lived there at the same time.

"Why wouldn't she understand? She's your best friend, after all," Brian asked, but he knew the feeling. He couldn't tell his best friend about any of this, either.

Sera bit her lip, feeling guilty for saying all of this, but it was true. This had been on her mind for a while. She thought about it every time Mary rolled her eyes when she got a letter, or when she sighed when Sera mentioned him in conversations with other friends. Mary just didn't get it, though, but it wasn't her fault, really.

"I don't think she remembers what it's like to have other social interactions besides parties, living with me, and shagging her boyfriend," Sera explained. "God, I feel so bad for saying this, but it's true. I don't think she knows how to interact with a guy by something that's not flirting or shagging him. Calvin's really the only guy she's got. She says she loves him but that's not love. Not really."

"Wow," Brian replied after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah. She says she loves him, but I know for a fact that neither of them have been faithful to each other since their relationship began." Sera shook her head. "She doesn't know what it's like to have something normal. Something human. That's why I like talking to you so much. It's something different than what I get here at school--just a bunch of bitchy girls who can't say anything nice if they tried."

Normal. Human. Brian liked that. It sounded good. He understood what she meant, also. Going to an all-boys school, he knew what it was like to always have one-sided conversations that didn't mean anything with a bunch of arseholes who weren't concerned with anybody but themselves. Even his best friend was like that. He couldn't tell him the things he could already tell Sera.

"I get it," Brian said. "I really do."

Sera smiled. "That's why I like you, Brian. You always understand what I'm saying."

"Believe me, sometimes I don't understand you, but I pretend to."

"Hey," Sera chided, giggling, and then she yawned loudly. "Ugh, I've got to get up at the asscrack of dawn. I'm going home for Christmas for a few days, so don't worry if you get radio silence from my end."

"Then you should get some rest."

"I'd rather stay up and talk."

"You'll hate yourself in the morning if you don't," Brian warned.

"I'll hate myself in the morning regardless of when I go to sleep," Sera retorted.

"I see your point."

Sera yawned again. "Have you been practicing your guitar lately?" She curled up on her bed. She was on the verge of sleeping, but she wanted so desperately to stay awake and talk with Brian, so she fought off the urge to close her eyes.

"Sure have," Brian replied. "I've been working more on that one song you liked."

"Does it have words yet?"

"Nope." Brian chuckled. "You keep asking and I don't think it'll ever have words to it. Besides, there are some songs that are good without words." He glanced at his guitar in the corner of his room.

"That's true." Sera had taken the song's melody to heart. She'd heard Brian play it time and time again, but she could never be satisfied even if she'd heard it a billion times. "Will you play it for me? Please?"

Brian smiled. He knew she would ask that, but it still warmed him inside whenever she asked. He thought of their conversation earlier--Sera was the only person Brian could show all of this to. His friends at school all knew that he played, and they enjoyed hearing him play as much as the next person did, but Sera was the only one who had been that enraptured by it.

"Sometimes I think that's the only reason you're friends with me, Sera," Brian teased.

"It helps, but I also enjoy your company."

Brian sat down the phone and walked over to where his guitar was sitting. He picked it up, examining how the polished wood glowed in the soft, warm light of the lamp on his nightstand. He sat back down, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder.

"Have you got your guitar?" Sera asked.

"Sure do. Here's your song." Brian set down the phone on his knee, making sure it was balanced. He picked up his guitar, held it, and after strumming the strings a few times, he began to play.

Sera grinned as she heard Brian play the familiar notes. If she closed her eyes, she could practically see him working the strings like an expert. The chords and sounds gently wrapped her up and held her tight, like a hug from your best friend after a long absence away from each other. If she thought hard enough, also, she could see Brian in the same room as her, his guitar balanced on his knee and his lip curled in concentration as he moved mountains simply by playing the guitar and making a girl he barely knew smile like a fool.

Slowly, Sera's heavy eyelids slid shut, and she bent her arm under her head, falling asleep to Brian's lullaby.

As soon as Brian had finished, he picked up the phone. "What did you think?" he asked, setting his guitar on the floor by him.

Sera didn't respond, but Brian knew why, because he heard her soft snoring over the phone. He laughed, but softly, as he didn't want to wake her.

"Good night, Sera," he whispered into the phone, and then he gently set down his phone back onto the holder and got out of his chair, pushing it back over to his desk.

He fell asleep quickly that night, wishing that girl over the phone were by his side instead of so far away from him.