Contained and Released

Escape Route

Taine wanted to pull at the ends of his hair and scream out every single time someone walked into the library and slammed the door shut. As if they wanted it locked. He didnt know who 'they' were but they simply just were, and that infuriated Taine to a new level.

'Why couldn't they f*cking leave the goddamn door open' he thought.

Every single time it slammed back onto the door frame, Taine stood up and opened it wide again, breathing heavily, each time almost packing up his books and walking away from his appointment.

'I have other appointments, so i could just leave' one side of him procrastinated.

But it was stupid, a compltely idiotic move. Meaning walking away from something like this which was so important to him would get him nowhere. He cursed himself out in his head for this, the self hate only growing at his pitiful incapabilties. That was another thing he hated himself for, the entire fact he couldn't stop or find the strength to push away his emotions which lead him to this doomed battle swirling in his head.

Which added to the list, weakness.

Also with what came with his weak mind was how scared he was of everything, and everyone, including interacting with the people who felt had the couragousness to approach the seven foot man made of pure muscle. He was a juxtaposition of is physcial and mental state. The only time when could push away his nervousness and fright was when he was angry. Completely and utterly fuming looking for destruction and for someone to care enough for him to sooth his storm.

He wasnt safe in this world he convinced himself long ago, after the worst.

But that was then and this is now, is what he tried to convince himself, undeniably failing.

"Mr Lawson, I really need you to concentrate, if you don't we both know this won't work very well, lacking in your improvement," Mr White explained, whilsit is sounded more like a complaint to Taine.

He hated being told off in anyway. It made him fill with regret and guilt.

He put his tatted hands over his face for a minute, barely even breathing and tring to calm down the explosions in his brain. His shoulders hunched over as if trying to hide himself from the discomfort brewing in the air. Certainly not like his chocolate coffee he lives off - one thing he was proud of creating, at least he think he did or liked to think so.

"Clear...-ed. I-uh I a-am try," He attempted to muster up a sentence of sorts, what he had previously learnt about speech flew out of his head when he looked up to the disappointed eyes of the teacher.

What he meant to say was that he understood that he needs to concentrate and blatantly how bad he was at making improvements. 'Useless' he thought and subconsciously rolls his eyes.

Mr White huffed and shifted his glasses back to the top of his roman nose slightly shaking his head. Mr White was an old man, approximatley seeming around 60 to most people who he was known by.

Taine guessed he was even older than that, the way his hands slightly shook as he held a paper to read off every now and again. Adding to this, his hair was a snowy white shade, very thin also, which proved to Taine that his age was about 70 to 75 even though his face wasnt as wrinkled as many other people at the age of 70, which was the reason that people thought he was younger than he was.

In Taine's eyes, his observance always seemed to annoy him. He didnt want to be always stuck in his head, at least he ad an escape through the door he had to constantly open again. But that wouldn't solve anything, because where exactly would that leave him? Alone and even more trapped in his head than before. A continuous punishment.

"Kid, come on, we've spoke about this. You need to start using pronouns and articles with your speech to piece a sentence that would be able to be understood by everyone even though your tenses aren't there yet," Mr White spoke in a softer voice this time, almost inaudible to Taine as he always made sure Mr White and anyone else if he could was about six feet away from him at all times. The soft voice made him feel like a baby, which he refused to believe he was, yet the demons did and convinced him.

Feeling even more embarrassed, he put his head down, his chin almost touching his chest as rose petals brushed over his cheeks profusely. He nodded, not trusting his pathetic speech which got him feeling like an idiot.

"Right," White huffed using one hand to rub over his eyes,this stress of trying to mend part of this boy back together was taking a toll on him. "Every chance you feel you have in these lessons, speak, because doing is better than listening trying to teach you by talking at you."

Mr White leaned forward which made Taine lean backwards slightly, then White eyed Taine with sadness, even though he tried not to show that feeling as he knew it wasn't what Taine needed.

"Ok." Taine replied, he was trying which was all Mr white provoked.

"So let me explain the articles to you, and I will question you afterwards, got it?" White described to him, it was a simple exercise for Taine, yet when it came down to it, he got so frustrated with confusion.

The dyslexia made everything worse. The demon who was second in command, always sniggering at his difficulties from up there.

"Yes." Simple replies were his favorite, even though he hoped they wouldn't always be.

"So from what you can remember, what are the three articles we use?" White asked a simple question for the rest of us yet it only made Taine cock his head to the side and tell himself 'I only thought there were two'.

"The and A..." He said cautiously, waiting for him to criticise him like usual. Mr White thought of it as tough love, where as Taine thought he was just a waste of broken time and a burden to White. A weird and silent relationship.

White rose his eyebrows as if to urge him on to say the next one, a two letter word.

Taine nervously chewed his bottom lip as he thought really hard about it, his eyes squinting as if that would make any better.

Suddenly his eyes lit up with recognition and annoyance that he didn't think of that before "An," he added in before White was about to give him the answer.

"Yes, perfect. I'm very proud. But then why do we sometimes use 'an', instead of 'a'?" He fired he question back at him as well as an appraisal.

This got Taine's lips in a tight line and him twiddling his fingers in his lap. That, he had forgotten. Well there was no room for it in the sacrifice of his mind.Turning his head away from White he clenched his jaw. Getting riled up now, he slammed his hands on the table and stood up, breathing heavily, hating the fact that simple things like these were p*ssing him right off. They weren't supposed to be complicated, yet 'they' just were, and he hated it, along with himself.

"Tomorrow." He rumbled, making it clear he wasn't giving up to Mr White, he was just overwhelmed and needed to go and release some tension.

Ruffly slinging his backpack over his back he stormed out of the college library, his eyes clouded with anger. In these emotional states he didn't care if people stared at him, he wasn't able to realise that they were in the first place.

Quickly climbing up sets and sets of stairs and corridors to the most isolated and abandoned extract of the college he finally reached his dorm room, with of course no room mate. Locking the 4 locks he put on the door beind him he flung his bag onto the bed with such force it bounced and fell down with a slight thud anyways. He quickly ripped his thin long sleeve shirt off, straight through the middle, no time for doddling. Then he grabbed the tape off the bedside drawers which looked like a halo he would never have and taped up his hands and got down to business, feroiously pounding his solid fists into the punching bag that hung from the ceiling. It was surprising it hadnt fallen down from it yet with his frequent uses of it.

His powerful fists, a weak escape route from the frightening monsters.

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Hope you guys enjoyed, this wll be my main book ill be working on and will try the most on as I feel very passionate about it.

Please comment on any of my mistakes and tell me your thoughts.

1507 words.