守りたい // hidekane

09

Hunger. Immense pain. Craving for something to sink his teeth into.

Kaneki was breaking down again, the package sat on his lap and he was contemplating wether or not he should eat it already. The hunger pains hurt like a bitch. He was starving - he hasn't eaten for what? like, a month already? He really just couldn't bring himself to eat what once was a person, he felt like some sort of disgusting criminal. But it's either his humanity dies or he dies of starvation.

"You smell that..? Smells delicious, doesn't it?" A voice purred. Rize. It's been a while since he'd seen this vision of her, and Kaneki wasn't happy about her appearing again. "Just one bite, Kaneki~ you won't regret it~ it's everything you've ever wanted.."

The ravenette's hand shook as the parchment grew damp due to both Kaneki's drool and tears. He gripped it  tightly, to the point that blood seeped through and dripped down his arms. Kaneki let out a small shriek and tossed it somewhere in his room. He frantically ran towards the comfort room and washed off the substance, watching as it cascades down the drain. A bile rose up his throat and he almost threw up - he would if he actually had something to release. Ripping off his eyepatch, he came face to face with his reflection, a half ghoul staring right back at him.

"I'm not..." He choked, "I'm not one of you.." His fist collided with the mirror, sending pieces of it down to the floor, small oozes of blood released from his knuckles, but the wounds easily closed in.

"I'm not one of you!" He shouted, particularly at no one, digging his fingers into his head as his body racked with sobs. His lids grew heavy and before he knew it, Kaneki had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor.

"That dork, he said he'd be here today.." Hide grumbled to himself. He was sitting alone on one of the benches near the entrance gate. Class hasn't started yet, Kaneki had approximately 10 more minutes to show up until Hide ditches his class and gets him again. Clingy boyfriend, I know. Hide went here extra early because he wanted to help Kaneki catch up, and texted the ravenette to do the same. But look where he's at now, there wasn't even a figure of Kaneki near.

"The number you've dialed is-" Hide sighed and finally gave up on calling the ravenette. Maybe he really isn't feeling like it. He thought, a small frown gracing his face, I should let him rest, maybe I wore him out yesterday.

He finally stood up and walked off, feeling a little bit bummed since he won't be able to see Kaneki today. Then his mind wandered to yesterday night.

After he had left Kaneki, Hide went back to the library. He had a hunch about what was going on and trust me, he really wished that it wasn't the case. Hide scanned the aisle before finally seeing the book he needed to buy. He grabbed it from the shelf and was just about to head to the counter, until his eyes spotted the book Kaneki had told him about earlier. Reminds me..I didn't get to borrow that from Kaneki. He finally decides to pick it up and add it to his purchase.

Papers, news articles, online news, the book he bought all placed in front of him, the single light coming from the laptop and a small desk lamp. Hide was determined to figure everything out, he wanted to help his best friend in any possible way he could. He was drowning in all the information he's gathered. Dr. Kanou's unauthorized surgery, the location of the accident, Rize's public profile - wherein he found out that she was never a fan of Takatsuki's books, so why would she pose herself as that? It's either she had a different ulterior motive or she really is into Kaneki. Hide wasn't leaning onto the latter one.

It was all too confusing, Kaneki possibly might've known everything, but Hide was sure as hell that the ravenette wouldn't say a thing. It was frustrating - mostly because it was definitely eating Kaneki from the inside, it was obvious. But Hide knew he was this close to figuring it out, it's like all the puzzle pieces are right in front of him and all he needs to do is put everything together to create a clear picture of what's going on.

"God, I need to stop overthinking things. Maybe it's really not that deep, I'm just making a big deal out of it." Hide murmurs to himself, running his fingers through his hair. His eyes then flicker to the copy of Black Goat's Egg and Kafka's novel which he had bought earlier. Kaneki's voice rung in his ear.

"The man had found out that his taste in food had changed. He started to grow a craving for disgusting things like rotten cheese.

"The protagonist realized he was slowly turning into an insect."

Hide was snapped from his thoughts when he spotted the male in question, walking into the center of the campus, deep in thought. He couldn't help it, Hide bolted towards his friend, an unusual sound coming out of his mouth. He pulled the boy into a back hug before quickly turning Kaneki to face him, placing both his hands on the blacl haired's shoulders and shaking him frantically, "Kanekiiiii~ I really thought you weren't going to come today, I was so bummed!! I texted you to come early didn't I? Did something happen? I bet you over slept- Kaneki? Kaneki?! Are you even listening?"

The ravenette stared blankly at his blond friend, a blink sending him back to reality. He scratched his cheek in embarrassment, "Sorry, I kinda overslept."

"Pfff, it's fine, as long as you're here." Hide grinned, resting his arm around Kaneki's shoulder before dragging him off to class.

"Gosh, I missed a lot!" Kaneki groaned into the palm of his hand, hearing the boy beside him let out a small chuckle.

"I told you you needed the notes for Asian History."

Kaneki only sighed in reply, taking a sip from a cup of coffee he got from the cafeteria. They were sitting on a bench by the center of the campus, as they both have free period until dismissal.

"Coffee again? Just coffee?" Hide asked, worry sketched across his face. "Have you even been eating properly, 'Neki? You look really pale and I can see that your cheeks are starting to deflate."

Kaneki's eyes darkened, of course Hide would notice, he notices things before Kaneki would even know about them himself. He was like an open book to the other. Read easily. "I-I just haven't been feeling it, y'know, Dr. Kanou did mention that it might be just side effects from the surgery."

"That isn't an excuse for you to starve yourself..."

"I'm-I'm not, I had a sandwich for breakfast." Lie.

Hide frowned but he had no choice but to let it go. He flashed an award winning smile and once again grabbed Kaneki by the shoulders. "Alright, I believe you but please don't starve yourself, okay, Kaneki?"

"Y-Yeah.." The said boy nodded and turned away, but Hide could see his arm raise up to touch his chin again. Before Kaneki could, Hide gently clutches the ravenette's wrist, his eyes not leaving Kaneki's only visible one. The gaze Hide held made Kaneki look away once again.

"Promise me. You won't starve yourself." The strawberry blond said firmly, which was an unusual tone to hear from him.

"H-Hi-.."

"Promise me."

"I..I promise."

With that, Hide lets go of his wrist apologizing for gripping on too harsh.

"Oh my God!! I completely forgot! I have to drop by at Nishio's, I gotta get something for the festival!" Hide jumped, startling the boy beside him. "I need to get to the senior's building." The blond states, gathering his things and throwing his leftovers in the bin. Kaneki starts packing as well.

"Alright then, see you-"

"Silly, you're coming with me!" Hide chuckles and pulls the ravenette to the direction of the said building.