Short Stories From The Deep

The Sheineid

This is an Epic written in the style of The Aeneid lol

Yo Muses, give me some inspiration
For King Pewdiepie loses his nation
As T-Series’ climb to fame provokes
Sheila must now uncloak

Book I
Gracious King Pewdiepie enters his room
“Why must I possess this terrible gloom
Gods, Why must they destroy my army?
With their videos that are so smarmy
Gods, Why must I lose my place as number one?
To India, a place that I must shun
Gods, Why must Brofistlandia suffer?
Perhaps I’m a deplorable leader.”
With that the gracious king fells on his bed
And concerned Queen Marzia walks on in
“Dearest Babe, why must you fret over this?
The attack went well, for now they are dissed
The track that you used was shared many times
And now all they have are nickels and dimes
Surely now your spirits have been revived
Oh and also, that farm girl has arrived.”
Now, Sheila Johnson is no warrior
And that makes the king all the warier
But she was chosen by The Almighty
Perhaps that will make her all the mighty
“Mighty Sheila, come in and take a seat
As for this makes me feel all the more Bleat
I know how personal this quest must be
For Immortality is what you seek
But your death would make this world much more bleak
If you succeed to slay that awful beast
Brofistlandia will have much more peace
For that, I must let you go on a quest
Go kill T-Series or be laid to rest”
With that, the Gracious King exits the room
“Mighty Sheila, do you have a weapon?
I do not think you look very heppen
So I do believe you possess no tool
Go to Edgar, the pug that loves to drool
You will not find him for he will find you”
What did that mean, for not even she knew

Book II
Mighty Sheila goes to her only home
To find her horse, Gerald: Chaser of Swine
Her horse had been with her through her whole life
Her best friend and listener of issues
Gerald the horse always had an answer
Sheila’s porker farm was ran by Gerald
For the only thing she did was barrel
This life is not one of many riches
But the essentials is what it fishes
Sheila puts up all the remaining pigs
“Yo G, king said go kill that T-Series
I was gonna be like hell to the no
But he said I’d get immortality
So now I have to slay that idiot
Because now I have to be immortal
So I can forever run the pig farm
It’s my dream to open a entreprise
And I believe there is a strong demand
The more pigs the more bacon Am I right?”
This story, of course, was a total lie
For she watched, with her own eyes, her parents
For they drowned to death right in front of her
This is the reason she is very scared
From that Gerald of swine responded with
“Na a a aa a aaa a”
Which of course translates to the vile phrase
“You are a f*beep*ing bloody idiot”
Mighty Sheila does not understand horse
So she hugs his pretty white mane, of course.
All of the sudden a deep voice projects
“Is this where Mighty Sheila makes her home?
For I, Magical Edgar, needs to know
I, who has delved deep in her mind, knows her
And Therefore knows her personnel weapon
This technical tool is not widely known
For the mighty scythe is hard to master”
Right in front of Sheila a scythe appears
The handle forces the use of both arms
The Scythe’s red blade is curved and finely thin
Sharp enough to shave, long enough to fight
Mighty Sheila takes hold of the weapon
And her arms, instinctively spin the scythe
So fast it’s just a blur with little noise
Her arms stop the cycle, battle ready
“What the crap where did I learn to do that?
This scythe? If that’s what you said, gives me strength
Yes, thank you for this beautiful weapon”
Edgar floats up to her face and licks her
“Mighty Sheila why don’t you remember?
You were the legendary scythe-meister
Reaper of souls, killer of men, dear gods!
How do you not remember anything…
Oh well, just do your best and you will live”
With that the black pug spins and disappears
“Wait, what is magical about this scythe?
What do I not remember from my past
What do he mean reaper of souls, dear gods
I do not know, I do not remember
I need to find my past, I must find myself
Gerald, we must succeed”