By All Means, Enlighten Me

10 - Peeves and Pince

Draco threw himself onto the Slytherin table and snatched up a flagon of pumpkin juice first performing an anti-poison charm on it to check Granger hadn't got to that as well.

"What's got your wand in a knot." Said Blaise eyeing him suspiciously.

"Granger." Draco said gruffly.

"Oh Drake don't let that mudblood bitch get to you!" Pansy piped up snaking her arm around his waist.

"Don't start Pansy, I'm not in the mood." Draco replied peeling her arm off himself.

Pansy pouted in a very childish way and Draco sighed ignoring her completely and turning to Blaise.

"I need your advice." He said.

Blaise swallowed a mouthful of porridge and looked at Draco. "What's up?"

Draco chanced a glance in the direction of the Gryffindor table where Granger, the She-Weasel and the Platinum Weirdo sat in tears of laughter, no doubt at his appalling defeat this morning.

"I need to squish Granger."

Blaise gave Draco a sly smirk and Draco responded by throwing a piece of bacon at him which Blaise caught and ate.

"Not like that, idiot." Draco looked at Pansy who was deep in conversation with Tracy Davis. "I started a prank war." He muttered.

"Ho ho!" Blaise chuckled. "Awesome!"

Draco filled him in on what he'd done to Hermione's homework and how she retaliated with the Nosebleed Nougat and blackmailed him into unsticking her school work from the ceiling.

"Shit Drake." Blaise heaved a deep sigh. "I hate to say it but it seems Granger's prank game is strong. You better come up with something good, don't forget she's spent a fair bit of time with the Weasley twins when they were around and Big Red over there isn't exactly a walk in the park. They're probably stocked to the neck with joke shop stuff. We need a different approach."

"What are you suggesting?" Draco drawled.

Blaise thought for a moment. "Well," he said slowly, "think about it, what's Granger's biggest weakness?"

Draco scoffed. "Men."

Blaise frowned. "Um. No, no I was going to say academics."

Draco's calm demeanor faltered for a split second as he realised his mistake. He hadn't told Blaise he'd kissed the know it all yet. In fact, he hadn't told anyone.

"I already tried that remember?"

Blaise gave Draco another look. "Come on! That was pitiful at best! You might as well have hung her panties from the Astronomy Tower!"

"Fine! What's next?" Draco asked.

"We wait." Blaise stated simply. "She's got her guard up right now. She's expecting you to retaliate for this morning. We're not doing a thing until next week." Blaise said as a bell sounded for their first class of the day.

"So, then what? What's happening next week?" Draco started again as he, Blaise and Theo walked to History of Magic.

Blaise remained silent, deep in thought. "Take away her precious library."

Draco grinned for a second and then his face fell. "How the hell do I do that?"

"A Portable Swamp?" Theo suggested. "Are we talking about Granger?" He asked.

Draco eyed him suspiciously. Theo was too soft hearted to ever be a great sidekick in a prank war. "Yeah." He answered slowly.

Theo chuckled. "Well, if you're going to down the library, I'd recommend doing it next Wednesday. She's in my Arithmancy class and we have a 3ft essay to hand in on Friday. Knowing Granger, she'll be in there every chance she can get. Two days without that place will drive her mad and you saw how long it took Filch to clean up that one in fifth year."