How she actually feels

He matters more then I knew

He comes back every time I leave but it gets harder to think of ways to forgive myself. He's always there but ever since the partying and girls he's been different. Being my tough self I made it look as if i didn't care what he did when truthfully seeing him at the club was the most heart breaking thing since I found out my mom only came to see me for money. We have worked together a lot lately and I've enjoyed being around him but he's different. More bold. And I can't understand it, so I tried to make him feel bad about it. But he didn't engage and basically told me to leave. I thought he was gonna kiss me. But instead I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. As I got out trying to keep calm I asked if he was sure about his. He was. As I walked down the street trying to process what happened I realized it was my turn to come back to him. And I did, I found him in pain and saved him. The way he said my name a his look of gratitude made me smirk. I tried to save him again but instead was told my morals were wrong. It wasn't right. I was upset he didn't say thank you or anything. But all the times I've done this to him gave me the strength to tell him not to take to much responsibility, because if he did, he might die. As I walked away I felt a smile come to my lips. I knew this would happen many more times with us. And part of me likes it.