i sit on the bathroom floor. im ignoring how he rattles the door handle. i locked it for a reason. His voice is growing panicked as i dont respond to anything.
i take his razor blade, lightly dragging it across my leg, then running it deeper. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. i repeat on the other leg. Then my attention turns to my pale, slender wrists.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Weak.
Tired.
i lay down on the floor. im tired of fighting him, all of them. If they dont accept me, maybe heaven will.
The door finally gives as he rams into it. i dont notice him there until he is wrapping bandages around me.
i struggle weakly. My face flares red in embarrassment. He wasnt s'posed to see. He wasnt s'posed to save me.
i cry as he cradles me in his arms. i dont know why he saved me. "Why?"
His eyes find mine, through the haze of pain and bloodloss. He lightly presses his lips to my forehead.
"I'm never losing you, dorogaya."
i blush a bit, but mainly go limp as he carries me to the couch and lays down. He holds onto me tightly, as though im something precious he never wants to lose.
i give into sleep and let myself fall into slumber in his embrace.
