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— LIFE UPDATE; NUMBER ONE, hi guys, it's me again. I just want to come on here for a minute and talk about this past year as a whole. So this, might or might not be long, but anyways, I'll start below.
In April of 2018, I lost someone very close and dear to my heart. This person has raised me, alongside my single father since I was five years old. It had been super hard, and super super frustrating at the same time. I won't go into detail, because some things (people leaking names, stalkers, and fake people) and I don't want any drama. My grandfather was a man of a lot of hobbies and a lot of adventure in his life. He grew up as the youngest of all 5 brothers and a sister, but he was adopted since his parents died young. I grew up admiring him from the beginning. He was my rock, and he was my other half. He always held me when I cry, or when something is wrong with me. I will forewarn you, I'm not done healing, I am truthfully and not denying that I'm still grieving and mourning the loss of someone very very very close to me, and it's extremely hard. He isn't the only person I've lost. In the last four years I've lived in another state away from home, I've lost 3 members, and two, I never attended the cremations due to no money, (because I'm super broke and I'm always fighting to save) and it's very hard when you live in another state and can't travel for that specific reason.
After the death of my grandfather, it slowly got easier, but the financial problems got extremely harder. I had to work hard on focusing myself to not only get better with my health and mental state, (which I'm very slowly healing, by the way), my financial problems decreased, by a whole lot. I had to help pay insurance, and burials, and I had to help pay some bills. It's extremely hard when you're a disabled person, and can't have a job due to it. And I'm not kidding, I can't work due to me drawing SSA every month. So, things have been hard, and hectic. And I apologize if I seemed to be boring, lacking of writing, lacking of just everything in general.
By the time summer came, it slowly got better. A cousin of mine got married, (which he invited my grandpa along because he used to play with him as a kid) and it was very beautiful. Having more family is wonderful, but lately I've felt distant, and alone. I also suffer from depression, and sometimes I'm lonely, and I can't help but feel that way. I'm not here to ask for sympathy, nor am I faking this. As I stated in the beginning, I would be honest, and truthful to all my readers, and my Wattpad family I've had in the last year. The wedding was beautiful, and it was right before my 23rd birthday. After that, I had gained a wonderful, (yet another nephew, make that 6 boys and 0 girls) literally, I'm the youngest aside from toddlers and kids. And he was the cutest baby I've ever seen, brightest blue eyes. He was born 12 days after my birthday. For those of you who follow me on Instagram, or Snapchat this past year, (I admit, I haven't posted much snaps lately), I have another cousin, named Troy, he is my King, my best friend, the main reason is, aside the fact we both share the same birthday month, but he was born right after I turned 19, on the 21st, so I graduated, and moved here in October, (my current location). He is the main reason, I was kept sane during all the sadness I've had to go through.
After all that fun, and hot summer days, I had court. This was the very hardest decision I've had to make. Because not only was I attending court for personal reasons (not explaining), meaning all my attention has been lacking greatly. I have been writing offline, which helps distract me, however, it's my mental health that keeps me lacking. I have issues, everyone has them, but I struggle going to sleep, waking up at a certain time, I can't drive due to my eyesight, (which is pretty good), and my disability. As of December 27th 2018, I finished all 4 court dates which was periodically spread apart, (different appointments). And at the end of that year, I am FINALLY stress free and I can be happy.
2019, I hope this year will be great. I look forward to new friendships, new family, and most of all, new memories. I'll still post updates, (think of this as my blog, of sorts, if you want?) and I hope that this year, I'll be happy, and I won't worry about anymore dangerous or sad situations.
