Inexorable Chaos

Chapter two: Meeting the Hero

*Sigh*..."Mr. Eludo... let me make sure that I wrote down your testimony correctly." he pauses, looking over his papers again.

I nod back towards the man in a black business suit, awaiting the reiteration of my explanation...

"So your job is that of a... Professional Summoned Hero?" Asks the man, the other Suited detective...I think his name is Todd, stays silent, glaring at me as though I have been wasting their time for the past several hours.

"Correct." I reply.

When you think about it, naming a child Todd seems like something that a parent who was completely unprepared for a child would do. I mean really, how hard can it truly be to give a child some kind of awesome epic name.

"In this job... you get summoned by gods to save people or destroy monsters and such. Correct?" he asks again.

"Yup"

Like really, just go online and literally search up epic names and your going to get names like Beowulf or Asmodeus. Something amazing that would make everyone remember you. So in the future, your kid could tell people that his name is that of an epic historical hero, or the name of a powerful demon lord.

"And when your... contract as a hero is finished, the god sends you back to earth with barely any time having passed."

*Nod*

When you think about it, I've done many heroic things in my twenty eight summonings from earth.

"When you return to earth... they pay you by using their... godly power to create...*Sigh* money and deposit it into your account. Is that correct?"

Can you imagine, kids being named after me because of my heroics... no that would kinda suck.

"Um... Mr. Eludo."

I wouldn't want so many people to be named after me. I mean really, my name is rather unique.

"Quasi Eludo?"

Yup, Quasi Eludo, a very impressive name if you ask me. Practically one of a kind. I think it means to win through trickery or something. I wonder if it's possible to make it even better.

"Sir?"

Yes, perfect! Maybe I could get knighted in England. Sir Quasi Eludo. Yup, even more heroic. I wonder what it would take to be knighted by the queen. That would be pretty impressive. Mayb-

"YOUNG MAN, STOP IGNORING US!" Todd yells out, startling his coworker next to him.

Young man? I'm over seven thousand in mental years. Sure my body might only be that of twenty five year old sexy piece of meat, but I have a significant amount of life experience... lifes experiences?

"Todd, you don't need to yell. We're in my living room," I gesture with my hand around me, showing my living room... and the many naked statues of myself in masculine poses." I can very clearly hear you from across the table," I say, watching the big black suited man as he glares from the couch he is sitting on.

I have to admit... he has the [I want to strangle you look] down pretty well.

"My name isn't Todd, it's Bob." he growls.

Wait! His name is Bob?

"Oh you poor thing," I blurt out.

Shit! Did I just say that out loud?

"Errr... um... sorry about being distracted. I have this bad tendency to monologue internally." I scratch the back of my ear, an annoying habit I gained from one of my summonings." When you live so many lives, you end up getting bad habits later on in life. Placing my body on autopilot while my mind wanders is one of them. It... can get pretty bad, especially if I'm driving."