So they're not kismesises. They, in fact, cannot be kismesises. He could almost hear the disgusting cheeriness in the other boy's hello in his head, and he hates him all the more for it - but he has to set that aside. And apparently humans have some complex system where they only like a certain gender for a certain quadrant, and if he was seething in humiliation a bit less he'd be almost sympathetic because it's hard enough filling those up without adding in any more trouble and god human romance must be so confusing.
A lot of trolls say that about normal romance, but Karkat isn't one of them. This is a staple plot. Vriska may have flailed around like a skewered grub for ages, insisting on blackrom even after all evidence and more importantly his explanation had made it clear this was impossible, but Karkat knows way more about this than her. He has all the movies. All of them.
John isn't his kismesis, so Karkat just needs to figure out which quadrant John does fit into.
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -
CG: HI FUCKUP
CG: SO I GUESS WE KNOW EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING
EB: oh you're the past backward one again?
EB: haven't talked to you for a while
EB: i guess we didn't talk much around now
EB: which is kind of weird now that i think about it
EB: you said you were really mad around now
CG: MAD YEAH
CG: WE'VE TALKED A LOT I GUESS?
EB: yeah.
EB: hey what conversation is this from your timeframe?
CG: SHUT UP
EB: this is kind of nostalgic actually.
CG: YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON THEN
EB: it's a nice change.
CG: YOU'RE A TOTAL WASTE
CG: OF EVERYTHING
CG: OF THIS GAME
CG: OF THIS PLANET
EB: now i know what you meant back then.
EB: it really is boring
EB: when you've already finished a conversation from your perspective
EB: and then the other person starts at the beginning
EB: but if you didn't want that
EB: i guess you wouldn't have decided on the backward trolling thing.
CG: DECIDED YES.
CG: SO HUMAN
CG: UM
CG: ARE WE WORKING TOGETHER
CG: OR SOMETHING
EB: well yeah! of course.
CG: WHY?
CG: WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD WE HAVE
CG: TO WORK TOGETHER
CG: WITH USELESS WASTES OF EVERYTHING LIKE YOU?
EB: i was told you'd ask something like that!
EB: and uh that i shouldn't say stuff
EB: because i hadn't
EB: and that this was for the best
EB: because if i had you'd just have fucked it up somehow.
CG: FUCK
CG: TEREZI TOLD YOU THAT DIDN'T SHE
EB: no you did
EB: future you
EB: in the past.
CG: WELL FUCK HIM
CG: WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO THAT ASSHOLE?
EB: you're not that bad karkat!
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -
Karkat stares at the screen for a while. That could have gone better.
you're not that bad karkat! Pity? Was the human feeling pity for him? Karkat seethes then reconsiders. Moirallegence was one of the stranger quadrants. Could that be the destined romance between them?
He doesn't feel particularly pacified. Or maybe he's supposed to be taking up that role? Karkat never considered that possibility. But he is more levelheaded than the flailing pink human he's seen, isn't he?
He scrolls back further on the timeline, tries again.
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -
CG: HEY
EB: hi karkat sorry busy bye!
- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] -
CG: WAIT I'M TALKING TO YOU HERE
CG: DAMN IT
He scowls and scrolls back further.
He tries warning the dumb human about the pack of ogres waiting for him. John accepts his advice but doesn't seem to care, which burns Karkat more than he'd like to admit. Several more attempts end the same way. The human just doesn't push back against his advice like a moirail should.
