A Little Bit More

Chapter 11: Consequence

I don't remember leaping off the roof. I just remember falling. And the wind. The delicious cold howling wind whipping at me. It was exhilirating.

But it lasted for such a short time.

Everything went black after that.

I'm still enveloped in darkness, groping at nothing, running to nowhere. An exit. But where's the exit? I came in, so I can definitely go out. Sometimes I see a light, and I dash towards it, but just before I reach it, it disappears, and everything goes dark again. Sometimes a path in neon colours light up on the ground, but before I can memorise it, it vanishes. I try my best to recall it, stepping precariously, but end up missing one step, and fall.

I finally realise that they're not exaggerating when they say "Once you go in, you can never come out". Usually it's because of some man-eating monster, but mine is of the absence of a way out. It's like I'm enclosed in this sphere. You can keep running and running, but you'll never reach an end.

When will I ever leave this dungeon?

The whole place flashes sanguine. Red lights flash and sirens resonate. I hear people wailing and screaming. People who I can't see.

What's going on?

And then it's over as quickly as it came.

It's quiet.

I don't remember anything else after that.

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I wake to lights. White lights. And sheets. And a pillow.

Everything's white.

I see this mop of brown hair next to my elbow. He or she is asleep. I think it's a girl. Her hair's long. Plus she's wearing yellow and pink. I want to wake her- or him- but my body's too sore.

Oh, wait. She's waken up.

It's a girl, all right.

"Oppa!" she exclaims, touching my hair, then my face.

What on earth?

I want to brush her away, but somehow my body isn't working. She's nearly crying now, as she says, "I thought you weren't ever going to wake up. I thought you were going to d-die. Please don't scare me again. Please. Why did you do something so foolish? Why did you? Why did you want to kill yourself? There are still people who love you. The fans, and your family, and your group members, and..." She pauses, as if holding back something she wanted to say.

I wanted to kill myself? Why? And I certainly don't have any fans, or group members. Maybe those classmates in my project group for Biology? I didn't know they loved me. Who was she, anyway?

Hang on a second.

I remember the flying in the wind. The dark maze. The lights. The screaming. The crying.

Before that, I had a...group. A band. Called...I don't remember. Something that started with an N. New...something. It had six members? Five? Or am I just imagining things? Why would I be in a band, of all people?

Suddenly my mouth's working.

"Um, who are you?" I ask her.

She stares at me, a blank look on her face. I should be the one doing that face. I don't have a clue who she is, and why she's talking to me.

She laughs a high-pitched laugh. "Is this some kind of joke, Baekho? Of course you know me! You're actually pretty convincing, though. You should land yourself an acting role!" She smiles. "You've started making jokes, too! I think you can be discharged pretty soon."

I gape at her in disbelief. Are you kidding me? I haven't seen her before. I'm pretty sure.

"No, I'm sorry, miss. I really don't know you," I try again.

Her smile falls for a second, but she starts beaming again.

"Baekho, enough! Stop that right now," she giggles.

"I am not kidding! I don't know you! Who are you? Why are you here? Why am I here? Why do you call me Baekho? I'm Dongho! Right?" I nearly yell at her, exasperated.

"Oh, god. You're not joking," she whispers. "Of course I'm not," I interrupt, "I've been trying to tell you that, lady." Her tears well up again as she murmurs, "The doctors said the chances of you losing your memory wasn't very high, and I didn't think it would happen, but it did..." She's crying for real now.

"Hey, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything-" I try to comfort her- "I didn't mean to make you cry, honest. Please don't cry. I'm sure I'll start remembering things soon. Could you please tell me what happened to me and why I'm here?"

"I guess you deserve to know," she sniffs, rubbing at her eyes. "Okay, well, your name's Kang Dongho, you're nineteen, you're a member of the band NU'EST under Pledis Entertainment, and you attempted suicide three days ago by jumping off the company building. But you survived, amazingly, with several injuries."

"Oh" is all I am able to say in reply. We're both silent for a while, and I ask again, "Who are you?"

She hesitates. "It's better if you don't know."

I want to ask why, but the door bursts open, and one, two, three, four guys dash in. "Oh, my god, Dongho! You're awake!" One of them's really cute. Wait. What am I saying?

It's so weird. They look familiar, like I've known them before.

Oh, of course I do, I soon realise. One of them's called Ren, and the other JR...I've forgotten the other two, though.

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After fussing over me for hours, they leave, and tell me they'll return tomorrow. The weird girl leaves too. I've stopped pursuing her identity, though. Somehow I do know her, but I just can't remember who she is.

I'm restless, but I'm not supposed to move around. I huff in frustration, and snuggle into the bedsheets. It feels nice, considering the cold weather outside.

I stare out of the window. It's pretty. I just wish I had someone to spend it with.

With nothing left to distract me, I can't help but let my mind wander.

"You attempted suicide..."

Why did I?

Why can't I remember all these people who are seeing me? I can barely remember who I am.

Am I Dongho, or Baekho?

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A/N: HELLO WATTPAD i have come alive again. Please read the next chapter for my long long message to you guys  <3