i was told to tag you so you'd see this DAMAGEDDANI
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"dear jilian,
i made that near the time everything happened. when i could barely eat or sleep because i thought i lost you for good. i dont think that way now, i could never hate you. and i didn't hate you then either. i wished i did, i wished i could barely look at your face or read your name without being swallowed by anger.
but i never could.
i've had that in my notes since. i'm not sure why i kept it. maybe it's nice to go back and remind myself of how i'm not that broken little girl anymore.
i don't necessarily regret what happened. it made me stronger, and it made our current friendship stronger as well.
i was told i had to hate you then. not directly, and i hadn't even realized it at the time. someone ingrained in my brain than you were the devil, so i wanted to go to hell.
we've had a hell of a lot of differences, but i still love you so fucking much. even if you piss me off a lot uwu
