How To Train Your Boyfriend

Chapter 27: What Did You Do To Him

What Did You Do To Him

"What do you mean you don't want the money?"

The moment the question was asked, I feared that I had made a huge mistake. What idiot turns down one thousand dollars? I had already done everything necessary to obtain it and taking the money wouldn't erase my past behavior. What was done was done. Now I was simply giving up money. A lot of money. One thousand dollars.

God, I am stupid.

"I can't accept the money, Mia," I said.

If anyone overheard us it would have sounded like we were partaking in something extremely sketchy. We were in the bathroom, after all. Crammed into the same stall. Whispering about money. If only I could explain to any potential onlooker that this was a boy-deal and not a drug deal. The cancelling of a boy-deal, at that.

"I don't understand," Mia squinted her eyes as if trying to spot my pea-sized brain. "We agreed on a grand. James and I are together and now you don't want it?"

I realized, in that moment, that I had not planned on how I was going to explain to Mia why I no longer wanted to be paid. I couldn't exactly explain to her that I had feelings for her boyfriend, and that those feelings helped me realize that the whole "doctoring" gig had gone too far. I couldn't tell her that I couldn't speak or look or even think about James without an immense feeling of guilt. I couldn't tell her that I regretted the entire thing, and that seeing them together made me want to throw myself off of the roof.

I definitely couldn't say any of that.

So instead I said, "I told you that I didn't do that anymore. And I meant it. Keep the money."

"What about everything you did to get us together?"

I shrugged my shoulders, already feeling nauseated by what I was about to say. "I guess it was just a friend helping a friend."  

Mia was noticeably uncomfortable. She stood with her hands clutching her binder and her lower lip sucked into her mouth. She pushed a strand of glossy black hair behind her ear and said, once again, "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Sutton," She trailed off and my name swirled in the air above us like a rogue breeze. It was quiet enough that I could hear water dropping from a leaky sink. I could hear the air conditioner, which was struggling to cool the entirety of the school, blasting in the hallway. Light streamed in from the bathroom window, making Mia look like something that had been wrongfully misplaced from heaven. How do you look beautiful in a school bathroom? "I can't thank you enough. Seriously."

"It was no big deal. I just hope you're happy."

Mia smiled. "I am. Very."

I left the bathroom feeling less sick to my stomach than expected. Maintaining a strong friendship with both Mia and James seemed to sooth my tumbling nerves. For the first time in weeks it felt as though I was on the right track. The end of high school, the end of the Boyfriend Doctor. I was finally shedding the persona I had grown so accustomed to wearing and, while it kind of sucked, it felt good, too. If the price of being the person I wanted to be was missing out on a relationship with James, it was a price I was willing to pay. Especially if James was better off with someone else.

And Mia? Well, Mia was amazing. Hating her was impossible. Being jealous of her was impossible. I couldn't accept her money, but I could accept her friendship. It was the only thank you I was willing to receive.