to all the boys i've loved before ||nct dream||

ending: RENJUN

"do you wanna study with me?" renjun shyly approached me. "you know, with finals coming up."

"sure. but i'm not good at studying. i think instead of studying with me, you're gonna be tutoring me." i say. he laughed.

we both enter the library; the air conditioning chills my skin and i slightly shiver. we reserve a table, but he takes off his jacket and puts it around me.

"it's okay, you can keep your jacket." i tell him. but he grips my shoulders.

"i know you're cold." renjun says. "please, i insist you borrow my jacket."

"thanks." i accept his jacket. we started our study session, and for the most part it was the most efficient studying i've ever done.

page after page, hour after hour. the time flies by. i notice that renjun stares at me a lot. i caught him looking at me a few times, but to lessen the awkwardness, i'd ask him a question.

"do you know why hong yeji was my girlfriend?" renjun suddenly asked.

"n-no?" i shook my head.

"i wanted to make you jealous. that time when we were in elementary school; i wanted to make you jealous. but i thought you didn't care." renjun explained.

"well, it worked. but i thought your actions meant something else." i told him.

"do you still have feelings for me?" renjun asks. a lump grows in my throat. his eyes are hopeful.

"if i'm being honest, yes. but it was so long ago." i say.

"would you mind if i kiss you right now?" renjun asked.

"no."

renjun confidently leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. he was gentle and passionate. this kiss wasn't anything too intimate. it was short and sweet.

"i've never kissed anyone before." he said after he pulled away.

"aww, you're so innocent." i teased.

"sorry if it was boring. i don't know how to kiss." he admitted. "i never do these things."

"that doesn't matter. to me, it's the feelings behind it." i say.

"so will you be my girlfriend?" renjun shyly asks. a drastic change from his confidence earlier..

"of course."

•

•

•

"i am not that innocent! i know things too, you know!" renjun argued.

"but you're such a cute child when you try to act manly." i laugh. he pouts, like a child.

"i am manly." renjun said. "i don't need to act manly because i'm already manly."

"injun, that doesn't make sense. and i saw you googling 'how to be manly'." i continued to tease him. his cheeks and ears flushed into a slight pink.

"i was just bored..." he sulked. "i feel like i'm not what you want me to be."

"why would you think that?" i ask. "i like you just the way you are."

"am i too boring for you?" renjun sighed. sounded like he was asking himself rather than me.

"did you not hear what i said? i like you just the way you are. you don't have to be to insecure." i told him. he took a deep breath and looked at me.

just like our first, he leaned in and kissed me. he was hesitant at first; maybe because he's afraid that i wouldn't kiss back, but he grows more comfortable as i start kissing him back.

"sorry." he pulls away.

"injunie, you don't have to apologize." we intertwined our fingers. he fidgets with my hand, showing his uneasiness.

"i-i don't really know i-if i should say this right now, b-but..." renjun paused and calmed himself down.

"but what, injun?"

"i uhh.. love you."

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i wanted renjun to be awkward and shy in the relationship, but i failed at writing his ending :((