Crumbs (a Tom Hiddleston fanfic)

Take Away & Promises

A/N: Thanks for waiting! Work and wedding planning is cray. I want to write but I am usually too tired or short on time. I also have a Sebastian Stan one shot in the works.  Not sure how that happened, but it's happening.  Thanks to the_last_unicorn for the "holy donut" in this chapter. :)  You guys are the best! Enjoy!

The lamp on the nightstand casts a dim warm, yellow gold light through the room.  It's half past three as I slide into bed.  I grab my phone as I do, and dial Tom's number.  I have been waiting for a text all night, and there's been nothing.  I don't know whether to be seething angry, or legitimately concerned.  Either way, I can't help but let my brain wander to him and Keegan in the lusty throws of passion.  And it's not any healthier to imagine him, beaten and bloody in a ditch somewhere. 

                As soon as I dial his number, it barely rings before going straight to voicemail.  His phone is either dead or off.  I fight back panic. Where could he be?  If he doesn't come home soon, I honestly don't know who to contact or where to go.  I don't know any of his friends in London, save for Bentley, and I don't know his number.  I'm not familiar with the area, and I don't even know where Keegan was staying.  This whole thing is a complete mess.

                I sink back into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin and then up over my head.  In the cocoon of the covers, my mind races.  I have loved two men in my life.  Chase and Tom.  And these men are so different, and the experience itself feels so different.  I am beginning to wonder if I can trust my own instincts anymore.  If I thought it was love with Chase, how can this be love as well?  They are two entirely different entities.  Maybe what I felt for Chase wasn't love.  If what I feel for Tom isn't love, then I am certifiably insane.  I am talking in circles.  Testing, testing. Is this thing on?

                I remember the first time I realized I was in love with Chase.  We had been together for barely a month.  I was like a ridiculous puppy, in love with the idea of love.  He'd taken me to the restaurant for dinner, and then out to the pier for a walk. I remember being so impressed that he'd known everyone at the restaurant, and how he'd ordered everything for me.  Thinking back now, it seems like a different life time.  I was a different person. 

                "My family owns the whole lower third of down town, basically." Chase said, his big arm slung over my shoulders.  We walked lazily down the pier.  The same pier he'd later say I fell off of as a cover up to all my bruises, courtesy of his angry fists.

                "It's amazing, Chase." I sighed.  "You know, I've got this silly idea."  I grinned and looked at him bashfully.  He nodded, waiting for me to continue.  "I want to open my own bakery.  Maybe one day you could help me look into renting one of the spaces down town for it.  It's something I've always wanted to do but, I just need some direction." I asked, feeling excited and full of possibility.  At the time, Tiny Baker was just an idea.  A tiny flame in my chest that just wouldn't go away.

                "A bakery? But you can just bake from home." Chase laughed and tugged me closer.  "Dad usually only rents to really established retailers, anyway, Charlotte.  You could maybe help work the table at the bake sales during the festivals.  Or, I could even talk to Dad about getting you a job at the bakery on the farm." He tilted, his eyes searching mine.  I nodded, feeling totally discouraged by his response.

                "Okay, yeah." I agreed.  I remember thinking maybe he was right.  Maybe it was a dumb dream.  I'd let his comments sit there for some time, before I finally pushed them aside and decided to try for what I truly wanted.  It had been then, and only then, that we'd started to really butt heads.