Some people's Lives

Preston/Jack: morning

     TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️: there might be gruesome self harm in the future of this story, and probably abuse. (Not really in this part/chapter, but probably most definitely in the future.)

     Just another heads up, that I don't share all of the same opinions with my characters (though I do share most of their opinions) .
     Also, I did a little back in forth with what time I start with for these characters.
     (For example, I go from after Preston is done talking to them, to them arriving at school, to them back on the bus, to them chatting before home room.)

     That's all, please continue.

Preston

After harassing them a little I turned back. The punch still stung a little on my cheek, but I'm used to being punched.

Honestly, how annoying can those two idiots be sometimes?

I try to put em down, but they just act so much like the victim, that everyone sees me as the bad guy. Well in their eyes, they probably are right, but I don't mean to be intolerable.

I need to be intolerable.

I probably wouldn't pick on them as much, or anyone, if I had the choice. But I don't think I have a choice.

How am I supposed to make up for everything that happens to me? If I let them go, I'll turn to dust. Even in those times where I'm not up to fight, and I don't care if I "turn to dust". The times I don't care if I let them go, or anyone go for that matter, it's like this force over takes me. A force I can't stop.

I don't know. Sometimes I just blank out, or loss control over myself, and then once I "awaken" I don't remember much of it, or I don't remember it at all. Well, sometimes I do know what I am doing, I do remember completely. But that doesn't mean I have control over what I am doing in those moments.

I remember doing somethings that I haven't personally done. Those memories can be visible and audible, just audible, or completely black. Those moments I've blank out, or couldn't control what I did, are not my moments. They don't count as mine. Those moments hold things that I did not chose to do, or even remember doing Sometimes, but my body did them.

That might not make sense, but whatever. It doesn't matter anyways, because sometimes I do choose to hurt others. I want to escape, so I use harm, just like myself does.

Not self harm of course. No, myself would not let me do that, I already tried it before.

In fact I am trying to now. But I physically can't, and now my vision is starting to get fuzzy and I am starting to get dizzy. Then I give up on trying, realizing myself isn't letting me choose to do this, for the millionth time. It knows I need to be in good shape to survive, so I put away the math compass.

Another student on the bus might catch me soon, anyways, and we have just arrived at school, on top of that.

***

     Jack

Aiden was acting weird, as it was usual for him to do so this year and Some of last year. He was looking at me like I was the hottest person ever at the bus stop and then he spaced out. I don't know, but I think I might be starting to believe those jokes about him being gay. I mean, I asked him why he spaced out and he said that he was just thinking about the Spanish teacher we had, but I have a pretty hard time believing that that was the only thing he was thinking about.