So Sweet ⚘ Josh Kiszka

⚘ seven ⚘

⚘

She put the food on the the table for the customers. She had gotten a second job pretty quickly. She was willing to work at night and the owner wanted someone like her. So here she was waitressing and counting to time when she could sleep. She was able to pay her bills and her mortgage and that stress was off her. Now she had the stress of two jobs.

The door opened, allowing some of the cold wind to come in. She shivered and turned to face the door. "Welcome - oh, hey!" Jocelyn and Layla stood looking around.

Jo smiled, "Hey girl! Long time no see. "

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry." Layla kept looking at her weirdly, "What?"

"You getting enough sleep? Or eat?"

"Uh, the sleep part not really. The eating, yeah." She lied on the latter part. She couldn't remember the last time she ate. Oh, the s'mores. Josh and her have been texting but they haven't really made plans to do something. He was busy with family, and she wanted to understand how that felt. She didn't bother him about it. His family was important. Layla had narrowed her eyes at Emery but nodded reluctantly. Jo had noticed as well, but didn't want to say anything either. It was hard to figure out how to say anything. Hopefully they didn't find her unconscious or dead anywhere. "Go ahead and sit wherever."

It was midnight and not many were here, so they sat at the bar and watched her walk around. She was an efficient worker and she knew her way around. Layla and Jo didn't know much about her past. All they knew was that she came here to have independence. That was it. She never talked about her family or what they were like. They wondered if she even had a family.

"Did you find what you wanted to eat?" Emery asked them.

"Oh, um, the apple pie please." Jo said.

"I'll just have a chocolate shake."

Emery nodded, getting both of their orders ready and done. The other customers had left and she cleaned the table, counting her tips before sliding it into her pocket. She went around the bar and leaned against it. "So, how are you and Josh?" Jo asked.

Emery smiled, with a twinkle in her eye. "We've been talking. But he had invited me over his parents house to sit around a fire with his brothers and Danny."

"Ooo, when was that?"

"Um, like a week ago. I've been working a lot, so I haven't been able to do anything with him."

Jo pouted, "Girl, don't let him get away."

Emery chuckled, "If he finds someone who is better for him, then let him go."

Layla shook her head, "Don't say that, Emery. You're better than enough." Emery just nodded, not really agreeing with her.

"Self-pity isn't a good look on you." Jo took another bite while Emery stared at her and then at the counter. They didn't know that it had been put in her mind so many times that she wasn't good enough that she sometimes just recited it. They didn't know that her mother said those words that Jo had spoken too. "Hey, you okay? I'm sorry if I offended you."

Emery snapped her head up, "What, oh, no. You didn't offended me, promise. Don't worry about it." Jo had a look of regret on her face. Jo may be a strong independent Latina, but she hid a very sensitive side to her. Emery smiled at her softly, "It's okay, Jo. I can be a little pessimistic at times and that's not your fault. Are you guys gonna go home? Because my shift ended about an hour ago and I need a ride home."

Layla nodded, "Yeah, let's go."

Emery clocked out, turned off the lights, and locked the doors. She got into the back seat of Layla's car, since Jo was in the front. They listened to music and sang along. She leaned her head against the window until they pulled into her driveway.

"Hey, where's your car?"

"Oh, I had it towed. It gave me a little cash too. It was just in the way and I take the bus to work, so I'm good."

Layla looked at her, "I can always pick you up if you want." Layla lived close to her, but she couldn't use Layla. She shook her head, "It's okay. Night!"

They answered with their own goodnight's and she waved at them before going inside the house. Her dogs bounced around her and she gave equal love to both of them. She went to her room, taking off her clothes and going straight to the bathroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She had gotten paler, yellow even, and her eyes were surrounded in dark rings. Her cheek were deepened and dark. Her lips were pale and cracked. Her body was bony and unhealthy. She looked at the scale. Guilt was in her chest as she stepped on it; she couldn't stop once she started. She needed to lose more weight. Then she'd be good enough.

Her phone dinged, getting her out of her fogged head. She walked back into her room, after turning off the light, and looked at the phone.

Joshua 🌻

Hey, how are you doing? Did you get off work?

Before she answered, she got dressed in her pajamas and then got into bed.

Emery

I'm good and yes, i'm off work now. I got home like thirty minutes ago.

Joshua 🌻

Good. What are you doing tomorrow?

Emery

Working

Emery

I do have Saturday and Sunday off

Joshua 🌻

Alright, I have something planned then for Saturday.

Emery

Okay! Good night and see you Saturday

Joshua 🌻

Goodnight, beautiful

Emery smiled happily, butterflies in her chest. She set her phone down, putting the charger in and then turned. Her dogs slept by her side, giving her warmth and she fell asleep, dreaming of Josh and warm sunshine.

The alarm clock awoke her from her dreams that had turned into a nightmare. In a way, she was thankful. She got up out of bed but suddenly fell back, vertigo hitting her. She had to lay in bed for a moment before getting up again. Slowly this time. Her dogs watched her as she put on some clothes to keep warm and then followed her to the kitchen. She fed them and then stood in front of the fridge, looking at it. She had stocked it with food but she hadn't touched it. She wanted to though, but something kept her from moving her arms. Her arms felt like they were chained to her sides, and her legs felt like lead.

She looked to the clock and had to rush out the door. She grabbed her phone, her purse, and her house keys. She slid on her shoes and locked the door. She caught the bus at the last second. She had to grip the pole to keep her upright. A mother who was sitting in front of her looked at her with worry, "Are you okay, sweetie?"

She nodded, not able to speak. She didn't know what was happening. And she was starting to get scared. Her grip loosened and she started to fall back. The mother tried to catch her but she fell. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and her sight blackened.