Travelling Wilburys Oneshots

Last Night

(Disclaimer: This was inspired by Stag Night from "Sherlock", where John and Sherlock get insanely drunk. I do not own some of the dialogue in here.)

"So, who's up for some good old fun tonight? The album's almost finished and we have a night off," said George as he walked into the studio at Friar Park. He had a marmite sandwich in one hand and a cup of Ovaltine in the other. Kudos to his famous saying, "When life lets you down, relax with a cup of Ovaltine." Ah, what a dork.

"Depends on what you mean by fun," came Tom's bored reply. He was throwing darts at the wall furiously, since he had nothing to do. And Roy, Jeff, and Bob were hogging the TV and watching 'Friends' without him. Meanies.

"Yeah," Jeff called out from the couch in a muffled voice with a mouthful of popcorn. "The last time you said you wanted to do something fun, I was keeling over the side of the boat and we nearly got lost in the middle of the ocean."

"We really don't need to bring this up," George said, his face turning a bright red.

"Yes we do, Georgie, we nearly died," Bob said in a singsong voice. For a seemingly quiet little fellow, he sure had a lot of sass under his belt.

George was frowning now, but he ignored Bob. "Anyway, I was thinking we could go clubbing."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and jerked their heads toward George's direction.

"What did you say?" said Roy, shocked.

"I said, I was thinking we could go clubbing," George said calmly, taking a sip of his Ovaltine.

"Who are you and what have you done with George?" said Jeff. He looked utterly horrified. Then he turned and began sobbing hysterically into Roy's shoulder.

"Look what you did to poor Jeff!" Roy said, patting Jeff's curly haired head. "You scarred him!"

"Yeah, you went from 'Hare Krishna, I'm zen!' to 'Hare Krishna, let's set fire to our heads and see what happens!'" Bob said.

"It sounds like you're just going to end up in the hospital within an hour of saying this," Tom warned. He was wincing.

"From now on, the old Zen George is gone, Tommy. You have to call me-" Everyone watched, gobsmacked, as George tossed the cup of Ovaltine, with the contents still in it, behind him, as well as the marmite sandwich. Then he randomly unzipped his sweatshirt, revealing that he was wearing a black t-shirt with the word "edgy" written in all lowercase letters. "Horrendous Harrison."

Nobody said anything. They just stared at their friend, who was seemingly pretty zen just five minutes ago, had turned into... just... whoa.

"There is nothing sadder than a forty seven year old man wearing a black t shirt that says edgy," Tom deadpanned after a long and awkward silence.

This evening was going to be... uh... great.

_________

By the time they were out to the car, "Horrendous Harrison" had donned a very fake Southern accent, bad hair, and ripped jeans (P.S.- George stole those jeans from Tom when he didn't notice). Jeff had finished his cry, but was still traumatized. Tom, Bob, and Roy just hoped that they weren't going to die in an hour's time.

"Alright, Geo, give me the keys," Tom said.

Horrendous Harrison scowled spitting out a toothpick that came from nowhere. "No way, dude. I'm drivin'."

"Geo, you can get rid of the Southern accent. I'm still driving."

"The name's Horrendous Harrison, bro!" he said, twirling the keys on his finger. "I'm driving."

"Nope. You are going to wreck the van."

"Just let him drive, Tom, we're all gonna die anyway," said Bob from the backseat.

"I don't want to die!" Tom squeaked. "And Horrendous Harrison here ain't makin' it much better!"

It was too late. Horrendous Harrison (or... George, I guess) was now at the wheel and had started the ignition. It was no use trying to wrangle the keys off him. Tom climbed in the passenger seat and mumbled a "Hare Krishna" under his breath.

He hoped that this phase of George's would go away. He missed his friend.

Also, he really did not want to die.

________

"I know Ash!"

The room was spinning. Spinning out of control. George was struggling to stay on his feet, and it wasn't helping that his friends (with the exception of Roy and Bob, who were the most sane out of all of them) were all drunk, too.

And most of all, it wasn't helping that the guy that George (or Horrendous Harrison, whatever) was like, twice his size and more drunk that he was.

"Don't tell me I don't!" George blurted, stumbling.

"Yeah, Jorge knows Ash," Tom slurred.

"Okay, okay, let's get out of here," Roy said, quickly herding Jeff, Tom, and George toward the door before that guy landed a punch on any of them.

"Already?" George said.

"Yeah, already, Horrendous Harrison," Bob teased, wrapping his arm around him so he could help him walk better.

"That's not my name."

"Then what is your name?"

There was a momentary pause. "I'm Georgieeee!" he said giddily, grinning widely at them.

Roy and Bob couldn't help but smile at their friend.

"I have an international reputation. Do you have an international reputation?" George slurred as he stirred in bed. They were finally back in Friar Park. Jeff was less drunk than Tom and George, so he was helping Bob and Roy tend to them.

"I have an international reputation," Tom repeated.

"Alright, you two, calm down," Roy said. "Here, George, I brought some tea. It should take the headache away a little."

George took the cup of tea. "I'm tired, Roy."

"Get some rest. You'll be okay in a bit," said Roy, patting him on the head.

"You know, we all got into an awful lot of trouble because of your whole 'Horrendous Harrison' phase... that lasted like, an hour," Bob said.

"I'm sorry, Bob."

"S'okay," Bob said, smiling. "At least you're okay now."

"Guess what?" George said.

"What?"

"I love all of you guys."

"Me too?" said Tom.

"You too, Tommy."

"Hey George? Can you do one favour for all of us?" said Jeff.

"Yeah?"

"Please get rid of your 'edgy' shirt. It makes me realize what a dork you are."

George sat up from his bed and glared directly at him. "Never."

___________

Well, I finally got around to writing another Wilburys oneshot! I guess I'll make this book a thing. If I get around to actually writing other stories (I'm terribly lazy).

Anyway, that's all! Have a great day!