autumn. 🍂 [completed]

12.

The first thing Chris did was give Robyn the medicine Doctor Samuel gave him before he stripped himself of his clothing then Robyn of hers. He looked at her body as she stood before him nude; she was absolutely gorgeous, he couldn't say it enough. He always was fond of her curves, and how thick she was. It seemed her legs were his biggest weakness because he often imagined being between them. Perfect length and so soft. It turned him on but that wasn't his purpose, not now. He carried her to the bathtub where he washed her thoroughly and diligently making sure she was clean and ridden of the stench of alcohol. She sat in front of him at ease as he touched her skin softly and carefully. She was surprisingly wide awake, groggy, and out of energy but awake nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, Reeses."

"Buttercup, it's fine don't worry about it. Just relax and let me take care of you, okay?"

She nodded. "I'm just tired, you know? I'm just tired." She said quietly. He kissed the back of her neck before getting them both out the bathtub and ready for bed. He didn't know what he would wake up to, but he hoped that she would be herself soon.

-

Sudden sprays of rain rattled gustily against the windows. Never did she move from her spot; lying on the bed, in the darkness. She forgot the meaning of brightness and what it looked like. Between the darkness filling the room, and the darkness in her soul. Her constant disregard towards her health was slowly taking a toll as the symptoms in her illness got worse. Chris wasn't any better, but because he did what he could, his health was fine. He was responsible for himself and Robyn. He understood that while Robyn wasn't at 100% these days he had to carry the load. He didn't mind because he knew relationships were hard work. As long as it was Robyn, he would carry the world on his back.

He sighed. "Robyn, you can't keep doing this, it's been a week."

She said nothing. "Baby Girl, please. This isn't healthy, you need to take care of yourself. You can't heal this way." She blinked slowly but still said nothing. Chris sighed and watched her helplessly. He was patient giving her the space she needed, but was still close by if she needed him.

"Robyn——"

"You know," she said before pausing, coughing wildly and holding her chest. "I thought I was going to be able to handle this. At the hospital, I cried, but I was happy because Gran Gran was happy. She was so peaceful it was almost like she was sleeping. It didn't hit me she was really dead until today." He listened intently wanting to see where this was going.

"I can't do this anymore, Chris."

"Can't do what?"

"This. Life. It isn't—— I can't."

"Buttercup, you have to help me understand."

"There will never be a happy ending. How can I be happy? The only thing that's promised in life is a death certificate. That doesn't make me happy. I'm not happy."

"Buttercup..."

"Chris, think about it," she sat up and looked at him for the first time. Her eyes were red, dreary. She looked drained, and this wasn't the Robyn he had grown accustomed to knowing. But in order to be worthy of her rhythm, he had to deal with her blues. "We've talked about everything. Marriage, life, and children. If we have kids, they're just going to suffer like we're suffering. You don't say anything, but I know you're in pain. This whole thing is painful. I can't do this, Chris. We can't do this."

"Robyn..."

"No, Chris–––"

"STOP."

She jumped at the boom of his voice and stayed silent. He didn't want to raise his voice, but that was the only way to get her to stop talking. "Robyn, stop saying shit like that. If you keep speaking that into existence the shit just might happen. Is that what you want?" Robyn avoided his gaze, she didn't want to look at him. She cried but she only when he was asleep. There were no problems being affectionate and intimate with him, but allowing him to see completely vulnerable wasn't easy. Chris walked over to the bed and laid on top of her so she couldn't keep avoiding his eyes. "Listen to me. I will allow you to do many things but quitting and speaking negatively isn't one of them. Leaving isn't one of them. That's easy to do, and I won't let you take the easy way out. I get it you're hurt, and that's fine. Take as much time as you need but do you really think Gran Gran would let you talk like this?"