I can feel the time passing by
With no clock
No sound
No image to measure it with
Almost like time doesn't move at all
But not true!
Every breath
Marks the steady march of time
It's the dead of night by now
In complete darkness
I worry
About my future or lack of
My financial problems always take center stage
Keeping me awake
For hours
Long after I went to bed
At times I regret going to college
My debt looms
Ready, waiting
To swallow all my hopes alive
But everyone says there's no other way
No other alternative
No college
Means no job for us now
Why must I beggar myself like this?
How can anyone
With debt
Work themselves to a prosperous future?
It seems impossible to a hopeless, unskilled,
Small, weak, clumsy,
Mediocre, spineless,
Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid me
I think myself into a dark spiral
An endless void
Filled with
My unending worries and self hatred
After so many repetitions of this night
One would think
A solution
Has been discovered the nights before
My answer, my tried and true method,
Is really simple
Easily replicated
And I turn to it again
I roll over, fluff up a pillow
Curl up tightly
Hum quietly
And try to forget for now
