Tales From Hell's Eternal Waiting Room

Well hello there! Please, please have a seat and make your self comfortable. Let me pour you a glass of wine. I hope red is ok......that's all we have of course. Here you go. Now then is it a trifle warm in here? Yes I'm sure it is but unfortunately there is not much we can do about that, we are only two levels above hell itself you realize. This is in fact hell's eternal waiting room you know. Please sit, sit I need your full attention if I am to do my job correctly. Oh my, I am dreadfully sorry! Where are my manners? You must be so confused. Ok let me introduce myself first off. My name is Harold. I had a last name at one time I'm sure, but damned if I can remember. Funny choice of words I suppose..damned...fitting though. Anyway, I seem to have gained the nickname of Hellbound Harry. Kind of silly, I know, but it stuck like any other nickname. Don't worry friend, you aren't dead. Ok, well technically you are, but not for good I assure you! As soon as I am done with you, you will be returned to your body. That is why we must move quickly, no time to spare. If the doctors revive you now you will fall into a coma. Sometimes folks don't wake up from a coma you know.

BZZZZZZZ!!!!!!! BZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Oops! My apologies, probably should have warned you about that. The doctors are trying to shock your heart to start it beating again. Please, drink some of your wine and you will hardly feel it. Go ahead now, take a big swallow. Thats good. Feel the burn as the wine subdues your awareness of the upper levels. We need to focus on the task at hand mind you. Can't have you worrying about things you cannot control.

You see, you have had an accident. You may not remember it but you fell off of your roof cleaning your gutters. Well, honestly, that would be a rather silly way to expire now wouldn't it? Alas men have died of much more ridiculous means. Trust me, I know.

Your body is at the present moment laying in a hospital bed. Your heart has stopped beating. A near death experience humans like to call it. Now ,if a person having a near death experience is a good and wholesome soul they see a light. They see themselves floating above their bodies and feel a feeling of peace and serenity. If someone is evil they will be tormented by horrible nightmares and dark images until they are revived. They are destined for the area two levels below where we now sit. However, if a person is somewhere in between good and evil, well they come to see me. Maybe someone who has never acted on their dark thoughts but has them nonetheless. Someone who is greedy and selfish but has never commited any serious crimes. Someone like you, for example. Someone who is teetering on the fence of the afterlife. I come along and try to give them a push in the right direction. Well, the right direction for us down here anyway.

While you are here with me I am going to share with you a series of stories. Stories I just love! Dark, disturbed stories. Stories with violence and bloodshed and pain and torment. Doesn't that sound like fun? You will not remember any of your time with me mind you, but if I do my job correctly when I return you to your body your soul will be just a little darker, your sense of humor a little more twisted and your mind almost completely desensitized to violence and craziness. This is always the funnest part for me. A new client, just ready to be molded to our side! So much fun! I have picked out some of my favorite short stories for your enjoyment tonight. Honestly some of my absolute favorite. You will listen to them intently. Be absorbed by them. Be surrounded by them. When we are through and I believe I have done the best job I can do I will replace your soul in your body and you will wake hopefully a much more sinful person.

Of course you realize your old pal Hellbound Harry is a hopeless romantic don't you? Well I am indeed! Therefore the first story I have chosen for your pleasure is a love story. A rather twisted love story, but a love story nontheless. It is called "The Houseboat"