"Remember that episode where spongebob chokes on a fork?"
"Don't make contact with me"
"Stick a pencil up your anus right now"
"Remember in spongebob when the guy's lips fell off? That reminds me of you."
"Oh my god if I was a band I'd be twenty one pilots!"
Teacher: what is a country in western Europe?
"Germany. RUSSIA!"
"Why are you laughing? Are you high?"
"I think Blanche Dubois is a drug addict."
(Two people at the same time) "Hope is dope."
"I told my friend i love her and she said 'ew never say that again.' fun!"
(Turns the music down.)"Sorry I just don't want them to know I'm emo."
"Never even smoked weed" (trying to remember North, East, South, West)
"Honestly I'm ok with dying in a fire at the moment."
"Imma be calling her gay on my deathbed."
"Wouldn't it stop global warming if everyone in the world poured a cooler of liquid nitrogen in the ocean?"
"I tasted a little bit of bleach a 2 years ago. I was a lil slow back then."
Person 1: who's king kong?
Person 2: he's that giant gorilla monster
Person 1: I thought that was Harambe.
Friend 1: haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Friend 2: what?
Friend 3: did you just compare yourself to cancer?
Friend 1: you don't understand me. iT's NoT a PhAsE mOm.
"It's not gay if you're wearing socks."
Friend 1: I'm not okay.
Friend 4: you are fine. I promise.
Friend 1: I'm not okay (I promise)
*friend 4 doesn't get the joke.*
Friend 1: you like gay-pop right?
Friend 2: don't disrespect k-pop like that.
Friend 1: I meant actual gay-pop. Like Hayley Kiyoko and King Princess.
"I love you platonically dude."
