Trapped

Chapter 1

In that shoreless ocean,
at thy silently listening smile my songs would swell in melodies,
free as waves, free from all bondage of words.

Is the time not come yet?
Are there works still to do?
Lo, the evening has come down upon the shore
and in the fading light the seabirds come flying to their nests.

Who knows when the chains will be off,
and the boat, like the last glimmer of sunset,
vanish into the night

Sail Away
~ Rabindranath Tagore ~

She woke up just as the sun was starting to rise. Last night was the first time in a long time that she slept peacefully. It was a dreamless sleep. It was the first time that she hasn't dreamt of him. And the first time that she woke up without tears in her eyes.

It has been a month since she arrived at this private beach. Her very own island. She used the money from the trust fund her mother had left for her. From the stories that she heard about her mother, she was told that her mom is a thalassophile. And one night, while she was lying on the beach and scanning the night sky, the beauty of the moon captivated her. And that's when her mother decided to name her Yue.

This is why she decided to buy this island. She wanted to have something that can somehow connect her to her mother. Her dear, departed mother.

No one knows about this island yet except her cousin and best friend Jiaqi. She hasn't told her father since he has been staying in London for the past year and they rarely have a chance to talk. And if they do, it was always in a hurried manner. Her other best friend, Xiaowen, also doesn't know about this.

And it is a good thing too. At least no one will be able to tell Dylan of her whereabouts. She is sure Jiaqi will never betray her confidence.

"Who are you kidding, Yue?" she thought to herself. "Dylan will never bother looking for you. For sure he was just waiting for you to leave him. So that he can be free to be with his one true love."

Yue shook her head to dispel any further thoughts of Dylan. This is the day that she decided to try and finally pick up the pieces of her shattered heart. She took a quick shower, changed into a yellow track suit and went for a run.

***

A month ago

The light was just starting to show when Yue alighted the chopper that brought her to her island. In her haste to get away from Dylan, she forgot to inform her caretaker that she will be coming today. Good thing she remembered to bring her own set of keys.

She entered the beach house and went straight to the bedroom. She just dropped her luggage then went to the beach for a walk, hoping to clear her head.

***

She couldn't forget the loathing in Dylan's face as he confronted her last night. She was used to him ignoring her most of the time. And on occasions he was irritable, frowning and sometimes raising his voice.

Last night, he was different. It was obvious that he was drunk more than usual. His words were slurred. But his eyes. His eyes were full of loathing. He looked at her with so much anger, she couldn't even look him straight in the eye.

He finally learned of her deceit.

She couldn't even defend herself. She tried explaining to him, willing him to understand but he got more enraged. He even hit her. And when she tried to reach out to him, he pushed her, almost making her lose her balance. He was repulsed by her touch.

After finding her balance, she stood still and looked at Dylan. Waiting for more punishment. But at that moment, Dylan decided to turn around and leave.

And that's when she realized that everything she did, everything she sacrificed, everything she put up with just so she wouldn't lose Dylan and keep their marriage was all for nothing.

Because no matter what she does, Dylan will never love her. He cannot. And he will not. Not now, not ever.

She will never be worthy of his love.

To him, she will just be that annoying girl who robbed him of his happiness. So that night, she decided to let him go.

The only man she ever loved and to whom she willingly gave all she got, hates her. To the core.

And she knows there is no one to blame for her predicament but her. She brought this upon herself Because she was selfish. And she deserves to be hated. Even she hates herself.

Oh how the almighty Shen Yue has fallen. She couldn't recognize herself anymore. She was reduced to a silly, pathetic version of herself.

If she could go back to that day when she met him, she would have gone back. She would have minded her own business. She would not have approached Dylan Wang.

If only she could. Maybe she will not be so broken like she is today.

***************

Double update for you guys! This update is basically Yue's POV.

Sorry it took so long.

And I hope you read this while listening to the BGM. The title of the song is I Can't Make You Love Me. This is the song I was listening to while I am writing Chapter 1.

And thank you for the overwhelming support and encouragement you gave me when I first published this story. I am deeply touched.

~ toni ~