Break Free

Part 10

Roger's POV
I just stood there looking at Mandy, finally I responded.
"I actually don't feel so well anymore"
Her smile faded, but I could tell she wasn't mad, just disappointed.
"Oh alright" she said looking down at her feet.
I looked over to Brian again and though it seemed like he was trying to hide it, I could see a slight smile on his face.
"We've got to see Elton, but maybe I'll see you after, if I don't have to go home that is, I just feel awful" I lied.
She nodded, hoping I'd meet her again, but I knew I wouldn't. Nothing could come close to what I just experienced, and we didn't even do everything. She then hugged me, told me to get well and walked away.
"Why didn't you go with her?" Brian questioned, seeming genuinely surprised.
"Just didn't feel like it" I smiled to him. It was hard for me to actually tell him things, it was all so new, but I knew he understood why I didn't go.
His smile faded, which concerned me, but I didn't say anything.
"Uh.. let's go see Elton" he tried to fake a smile. What was going on..
We walked over to where he was sat, still outside, and he noticed us walking towards him before we were even that close to him.
"You two look great!!" He shouted over to us. He wore a bedazzled suit that looked like it could have been in a Shakespeare film had it not had all the glitter.
"Happy Birthday!" Brian yelled over to him.
"Thank you, love" he smiled.
He moved his gaze around, numerous people talking to him at once and we decided that it would be alright to walk around again. I was going to have a few shots, but Brian didn't take any.
"You're not going to drink anymore?" I questioned, wondering if this had something to do with the way his face looked earlier.
"I need to be able to drive.." he looked away from me.
"We could always call a taxi" I suggested.
He fiddled around with his fingers nervously and I started getting very nervous, no clue as to what was wrong with him.
"Well Rog, I probably shouldn't meet Chrissie for the first time in forever while I'm drunk" he faked a little laugh then frowned.
My heart sank, I was really hoping that he would just tell her that he couldn't agree with her list and stay with me. He must have seen the sadness on my face.
"I mean you understand why I'll have to go with her. I mean what choice do I have?" He asked. What a pathetic answer. Freddie was much braver than Brian ever would be.
"I guess you have absolutely no choice" I exaggerated, which I could tell saddened Brian a bit.
"Just like you had nooo choice, but to cheat on her with me" I added.
"Roger what do you expect us to do?" He was getting slightly angry.
"I expect you to do what you want and not what you THINK is necessary" I walked away from him, afraid I wouldn't be able to control my anger and that I'd start a fight in front of everyone. I didn't even look back at Brian and hoped he wasn't following me. When I got to a table far away and sat down, I could see that he wasn't. He probably left to see Chrissie. I grabbed two shots and downed them as quickly as possible. This hurt more than I intended. I sat there for a few hours, wallowing, until I decided it was time to go. I walked towards the door and went outside, I didn't know where a phone was so I could call a taxi, but I really did not want to stay in there. I walked over to my car and got in. Maybe I could still drive, I wasn't too bad. I started the car and was about to go when I heard a bang on the front of the car and looked up to see Freddie. "You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled to him. He didn't look as drunk as he had earlier, but he was still pretty hammered.
"You don't really think you're going to drive?" He questioned, opening the door and getting in.
"I'm fine Fred, I can drive" I said, sticking the keys in ignition. He grabbed the keys out of ignition and put them in his pocket.
"No" he said sternly, looking over to me.
"I can't afford to lose a drummer" he smiled at me. I was annoyed, but couldn't help but smile back.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Of course I am, why do you ask?" I faked a smile.
"Rog, you never try to go home during a party. You usually pass out on the floor" he said, his gaze never left my eyes and that's why it was so hard to lie to Freddie. He could be intimidating and he knew it.
"Faaack, it's hot here" Freddie yelled before taking his wig off to cool down. His random outburst always made me laugh.
"There you go you're already doing better" he smiled to me.
"I know you might not want to tell anyone certain things, but we are all here for you. Me, John and Brian love you" it made me feel warm until Brian's name came out of his mouth. I set a hand on his shoulder and thanked him.
Before I knew it he leaned in and kissed me. A drunk sloppy kiss. It was very strange, but I kissed back, deepening it right before he pulled away.
"Oh Rog dear I'm sorry" he started laughing.
"Would you believe that I've done that five times while I've been here? I'm such a slut" he laughed, getting out of the car. He tried to kiss all three of us before while he's been drunk, usually chasing us around, all of us laughing, but we never let it happen.
"Have fun Rog, I have to go see my friend Jim. I promised him. I could've sworn you kissed back, something must be VERY wrong" he spoke and I smiled, telling him to go see Jim. That kiss was alright, but it was just a kiss given by one very drunk friend who did that sort of thing all the time, it wasn't anything special. I kissed back because I was angry at Brian and it helped.
I forgot that he had my keys and wasn't sure what to do. I climbed out of the car and began walking back to the house, deciding that I'd look for a phone. When I looked up I saw Brian by the door, gazing at me with a confused expression. Had he been watching me the whole night, or was this a coincidence? I thought he left. I wanted to walk past him and find the phone but he stopped me.
"You and Fred kissed?" He asked me.
Of course he had to see.
"Uh yeah. He was drunk and it's Fred so.." I trailed off.
"You kissed him back. Rog are you gay?" He asked me, and this really pissed me off. If kissing Freddie made me, what did that stuff that we did in the room make us? But I knew what he meant, I kissed two guys in one day, I MUST be a fag.  I also like girls, but people always leave that part out for some reason when they accuse you of being gay.
"I like people who care about me, Fred does, he would never go through with something simply because of what others would think" it was the truth, but I was also trying to make him jealous. He brushed off my comment.
"Do you like Fred too?" Brian looked down. There's no way he actually thought that I liked both him and Fred. How dumb could he be, but this was exactly what I wanted, he was jealous that I kissed someone else.