killer queen | joe mazzello

48. inevitable

a week after we returned to our apartments in los angeles is when i first noticed something was wrong.

joe was never the type of boyfriend to leave me guessing. unlike aaron, his communication with me was constant, which is one of the reasons i got along so well with him when we first became friends.

but within the past few days, i could feel a disagreement brewing between us.

i don't remember who insinuated the first raise of volume, but it was most likely me. i was beyond pissed that he would leave me out of the dark in the way he had been: not replying to my text messages for three days straight, leaving me on read the fourth day, cancelling plans the fifth day, and being beyond bland with one word responses earlier this morning.

all i knew was, we were now standing on opposite sides of my kitchen, arms crossed and shoulders tense, arguing over the stupidest thing in the world.

tyler did tell me that our first argument was pretty much inevitable.

"i just don't understand why you had to ignore me for nearly a week! what the hell did i even do? i mean, i took to new york to celebrate your birthday, and we were having so much fun. what happened in the few hours since we'd gotten back? did you suddenly feel like you needed to be away from me?" my arms had a mind of their own, pointing in random directions and making a very accurate point.

"no, it's- its, why are you even so angry about this? it's so stupid." joe pressed a finger into his temple, his eyes shutting for a moment in exasperation.

"well, if you agree that this is stupid, why can't you just tell me why you've been ignoring me?"

"donna, please."

"joe, please! just give me an explanation! i will listen to anything you say! but please, please, just tell me what happened!" i could see the tears welling up in my eyes.

i was stressed, sweating, and so incredibly worried that the worst possible explanation would fall from his lips.

but it was much worse than the thought i had originally had.

"i'm leaving next week."

and i knew exactly what he was talking.

principal photography for the biographical picture he was starring in began sometime before the new year, we just didn't know when- well, i guess we did, now.

what we did know before this was that he'd be in london for the next seven months with a break between december 1st and january.

i'd been mentally preparing myself for the day in which i'd have to say goodbye to him, but i didn't realize it was going to be so soon.

my mouth parted, and out jutted a weird, croaking noise from my lack of inability to speak. i stepped back, my wild arms crossing against my chest while my back hit the fridge door.

joe glanced up at me from his shoes, rubbing nervously at his neck with tears streaming down his face. "i-i'm sorry f-for ignoring you. i shouldn't have, but i panicked because i thought you'd be upset that i was leaving so soo-"

"joe." i flicked a shaky hand in his direction, meeting his watery eyes with my own. "i don't even care anymore. it doesn't matter. just- please come here."

we met each other in the middle of the kitchen, arms grabbing for their respective places around necks and waists, cupping water-stained cheeks.

"i'm sorr-"

"i love you."

"i love you, too."