When I Close My Eyes

A Constant Struggle

There was a warmth in his eyes he couldn't quite place. All of it took Cloud by surprise, was it for him, was this what all of those light touches would've resulted in? Did he deserve this?

Suddenly the ground gave out beneath Cloud's feet, it slowly sinks him in and all he can do is cry out.

"Zack! Wait please I'm finally strong enough! You don't have to do this alone anymore! Please just don't leave me behind!" His face is overwhelmed with tears*. All he can do is let the darkness creep over him slowing. Before he can no longer see Zack whispers.

"I know."

******

Cloud shots up from his bed coated in an anxious sweat. He rakes his trembling fingers through his blonde strands of hair. All he can do is hope that for a moment he would stop feeling like a wilting willow tree.

"A cold shower would do me some good," he whispered. He looked at the time before gathering his uniform, 'It's barely 2 am' he thought. But he needed to get that dream out of his mind.

******

It was well into the evening when Cloud arrived home, his legs felt like heavy stones he had to drag.  Lucky for him, Tifa didn't have the bar open today so he could rest on one of the barstools for a bit. He looked and felt like a man on the verge of death, wanting nothing more than to have some sort of escape from the waking world.

"Cloud."

"Hm?" He looked up to see Tifa with a concerned face.

"Are you doing ok? I haven't seen you like this in a long time, to be honest."

Cloud thought about it, was he ok? Obviously the last couple of days have been quite troubling but it's not like he could really do anything about. This sudden realization of emotions wasn't something he could just ignore. He didn't want Tifa to worry but he had already made her worry enough to last a whole lifetime. Cloud sighed.

"I got some more memories back."

"Really?! That's great!"

"But, I realized something, about me and Zack.," Tifa gave him the 'keep talking' look, " and it turns out that he l-liked me." Cloud blushed while he moved his shoulders to give his statement more of an emphasis on "like".

"Well, of course, he liked you Cloud, you were his best friend."

Cloud placed his face in his hand, turning slightly away from Tifa, becoming even redder. "Not like that, I mean like-like, ya know." This was so embarrassing but he'd rather be seen like this by Tifa as oppressed to one of they're other friends.

Tifa was just watching Cloud, thinking to herself before suddenly throwing up her hands and shouting, "I knew it!"

"What?!"

"So Aerith and I were talking the other day and..."

Cloud just began to drown her out, his head began to spin and he couldn't look at her. Suddenly, there's a huge aching feeling in his head and hisses in pain.

"Cloud!? What's wrong?!" Tifa cries out, Cloud just shakes his head and closes his eyes to try to make the pain lessen but instead He sees something.

Silky black hair, a black uniform, and to top it off a freshly polished buster sword. The raven turns to look at him. When he's finally facing Cloud he smiles, and in his eyes are that same warmth from Cloud's dream.

"Soon spikey, I promise," He whispers. 

Then suddenly everything turns to darkness.