Worth it - Sirius Black x Reader

Worth it

It was always the five of you. Always had been and always will be. You were family. They were your loving and overprotective brothers and you were their little sister. You loved them and their crazy ways. You would fight anyone who dared to mess with them; except Lily. She could mess up with James and his big ego as much as she wanted to.
You knew about Remus and his "furry little problem" as James had named it. You were the one who suggested that you must become Animagi to keep him company and prevent him from hurting himself. He was furious at you but forever grateful as well and honestly, a bit proud. You were a package deal. You would stick with each other no matter what.
You were aware of Peter's issue with his confidence and you tried your best to help him any way you could. You helped him with his assignments and his essays; you helped him with Mary. Boy, he was in love with her. You tried to boost his self-esteem as much as you could. He was thankful and he was always kind and sweet to you.
You knew about Sirius and his so-called family. You were the one that got him to eat and sleep and function like a human being. James had tried but failed. Sirius hadn't even let him inside the room; he never did. It was you who got to see him like that. It was you who got to help him and clean up his wounds. His 'mother' hadn't let him leave without a fight. You knew that she had used the cruciatus curse on him. He had never cried before but that night he did. And you were the one to hold him and hug him tightly. You were the one to help him sleep. And somewhere between being his sister and being his friend... You fell for him.
But you kept it quiet and you buried it six feet under. Someplace you never visited in the very depths of your mind. You would never jeopardize your friendship with him for your stupid feelings. And you knew he didn't feel the same. Mainly because he always called you 'sis' and he slept with everyone else. He had every girl (and boy) he wanted. It wasn't that you weren't beautiful. You were. Or at least, that was what the boys told you. You could have many dates. But with the Marauders as your friends... Well, they were intimidating and they had probably sworn to never let you go out. Sometimes it was sweet but sometimes was awful. It felt like every time you thought that you would get over him... Nope. Just nope.
You had worn a black crop top and a pair of black shorts. You knew that it wasn't your uniform but it was Saturday and you were visiting Hogsmeade. If you didn't wear shorts now, you would never get to wear them. Your hair was down and natural and you had a hint of makeup applied on your face. Just a bit of eyeliner and lipstick.
You were stepping down the stairs to the common room when somebody halted you.
"What on earth are you wearing?" James asked you shamelessly with one eyebrow arched. You mimicked his expression before answering him.
"Clothes, Jay. Clothes" you informed him, amazed by his overprotectiveness. "Go change and put in something that actually covers you. Please". If he hadn't added that 'please' and if his tone wasn't almost concerned, you would have yelled at him. However, since he was a sweetheart, you just rolled your eyes, low-key happy that you had a brother, and raised an eyebrow.
"Only because you asked nicely, Jay" you told him kindly. It felt good to know that someone wanted you to be safe and protected. He smiled brightly and told you that he was going to wait in the common room for the guys.
Once you got back to your room though and opened your wardrobe, you realized that you had nothing to wear. Like what were you supposed to choose? The little black dress or everyday jeans? Damn you, James!
You took off the clothes you were wearing and paced back and forth in your room. You were alone, so you didn't care that you were only in your lingerie. A beautiful, silky, mauve set of underwear. And if you wanted to be honest that bra made your chest look awesome.
You never really understood that someone was indeed in the same room as you. That, someone had come up to ask you what was taking so long. That, someone was staring at your figure with a slightly gaping mouth. That someone saw you for the first time like a... Woman.
You never understood any of this. You were too caught up to notice his gray eyes roaming your body, staying on your bum a lot longer. You didn't notice that he was having trouble deciding whether to let you know that he was there or continue to stare at you and leave at some point before he got caught. You didn't know that his mind had stopped working and started screaming at him. What am I thinking? Why am I looking at her while she is almost naked? She is like my sister! a voice reprimanded him. But another voice, a soft and a bit bitter was whispering that he was one of the luckiest men alive-you weren't really his sister, after all.
He crept out of the room. You hadn't realized a thing. You were still trying to find what to wear.

Months had gone by but he couldn't help himself. He was thinking about that day, playing the scene on repeat so many times that your shape had been engraved in his mind. He was sure that he could trace all the patterns on your skin, that he could find your soft spots even in the dark. He was in a very difficult place. Not only he was actually falling in love- Sirius Black, in love?; it sounded ridiculous because he had never, ever, had that kind of feeling- but he was falling in love with someone, who up until that moment he thought of as a sister.
He had noticed everything about you. The way your eyes would twinkle with mischievousness every time you liked a prank idea or the way they would look away and stare into space every time you were lost in your mind. The way your lips- those full, plump lips that he longed to taste- would turn into a genuine smile or a smirk or a forced one. He noticed that they were different. Whenever you forced a smile, your eyes wouldn't smile- they were cold and distant. The way you bit your bottom lip in concentration. The way you played with your hair. They way your scent was so intoxicating; like caramel and sandalwood and something else, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The way your shirt was tightly hugging your chest and a couple of buttons were undone. The way that your skirt was a bit too short, or the way it would ride up your thighs, leaving them exposed. The way your skin was always so smooth and seemed to be perfect. The way your elegant and slender fingers would turn the pages of a book or actually touch him. He was electrified every time you touched him. He knew when your happy, sad, excited or... well, there was one feeling he didn't know what it was. You were usually around him when you were in that 'mood'. At first, he thought that it was just because you were thinking about him just as a friend- a great friend or even a brother(he hated that last one)-but he noticed that you weren't like that around the others and he felt doomed. Maybe you didn't even like him as a friend, after all. Maybe you had a thing for Remus- well, that would make sense. You were always sitting close to him and you were touching each other and hugging and you had a tendency of falling asleep on his shoulder and he always looked so happy around you and- Stop it! When he suggested it and tried to ask him about it, Remus laughed. Because, Remus knew. He was way too clever not to notice the way you kept looking at his friend when you thought that nobody was paying attention to you. Or all the other things you would do unconsciously whenever Padfoot was around. Sirius had frowned at the werewolf. What did it mean? He didn't leave him alone until Remus actually told him that you and he were friends-siblings really and that the feeling was mutual. The gray-eyed boy was a bit relieved. And then it hit him.
You weren't acting differently around him because you didn't like him- you had the different 'aura' exactly because you liked him. Well, maybe. But he had already concocted a plan and it was worth a try.
You witnessed the sudden change and you were puzzled. Why on earth would he be even more touchy and since when did he use his infamous pickup line and smirk on you?
It made you feel even worse. He probably didn't do it on purpose, you thought. How naïve...
He kept pushing and pushing his luck until one day, you exploded.
You were in the boys' dorm but it was only him and Merlin, he was shirtless and-no. No, no, no, no. He was bottomless as well. No pants. No briefs. Nothing. Nada. Naked. You immediately turned around. He is gifted after all said that annoying voice inside your head. You were red-not pink, red- and embarrassed but if you wanted to be honest, happy because let's face it, when would you get to see him like that again? Never.
"Oops. Didn't see you there" he said but you could hear the sarcasm in his nonchalant tone. He wasn't sorry. Well, who would be with a body like that? You heard the sound of a zipper and thank Merlin when you turned he had his pants on and he tried to button his shirt. Without any success. He looked at you and pouted.
"Help a poor soul, miss?" he asked you, mockingly and playfully simultaneously. You? Touch his torso while he had nothing to cover it? You gulped hard but complied- like you were in a haze. With shaky hands, you tried to button his shirt but well... he took your hands in his and locked eyes with you.
"Why so nervous? It's just me, love" he said softly.
"That's the problem" you whispered under your breath but he heard it. He also heard your heart beating faster and faster. He wanted to kiss you. Like, right now. Was that worth it? Was it worth to ruin a friendship like that for something like that?
Yes, yes it was. Because he didn't want you as a friend. Not anymore. And you felt the same. And he knew it. Or at least, hoped so.
He kissed you and everything seemed so far away and so distant and unimportant. His lips were soft and hot on yours; he did taste like smoke and honey, like sin. His hands cupped your face and yours roamed his toned torso. Merlin, you had been dreaming of this way too long. But this time, reality had over won the dream. It was a million times better.