February third, 1990.
At work things were going as usual, mostly women would come in and take hours looking through piles and piles of fabrics until my boss came storming through the door.
"I can't believe the police allow this kind of teenagers to wander around the streets... This kind of behaviour is unacceptable!" She said while entering behind the counter.
"Are you ok, Hilde? What kind of kids are you talking about?" I pretended to care.
"Those longhaired skaters who worship the devil... Always wandering around parking lots, scaring away my clients" She said while some clients started to stare at her.
"I agree, there are more and more." One woman said. "There was even some of those kids on the news the other day who got detained for throwing rocks at stores" One other woman added.
I guess I had heard something about this on the local news, a gang of teenagers going around and committing all sorts of vandalism. This was considered alarming behaviour for such a small country like Norway, parents and adults from all around were starting to worry about their kids becoming "skaters", "metalheads", "punks" and any other subculture that didn't go with the baby boomer conservative protestant norm. As an artist I had struggled with even the acceptance of certain teachers, my art being too "dark and depressive" for them. But I respected it and just tried to prove them wrong by presenting my work with eloquence... But trying to argue with baby boomer moms was a lost case so I just let them carry on with their rambling about "evil teenagers terrorising parking lots!".
It was around 7pm when me and Eva were planning on what to wear to the damn concert. I opted for a long grey wool skirt, black turtle neck, black Dr. Martens Mary Janes and a dark wool coat while Eva was wearing a tight black dress with a white t shirt under it, black boots and a big leather jacket on top.
"You're really going for the rocker look, huh?" I looked at her surprised.
"Sigbjørn, the guy who gave me the tickets, is one of those hot metal guys... I have to impress him" She said while fixing her lipstick in the mirror. "You should go for a less librarian look, for once"
"Yeah, right... Because I really wanna fit in with the weirdo." I rolled my eyes.
We finished getting ready and took the bus to Jessheim where the concert was happening. I had no idea what to expect from that experience. I knew Eva would be with her boy toy and I'd be left alone as usual.
We got there and the place was filled with teenagers, mostly guys, wearing leather and denim jackets, some were smoking and drinking outside so I thought to myself, those were the guys terrorising Norway?! All I saw was a bunch of edgy teenager boys trying to look tough.
"Hey, you actually came!" Said this guy coming in our direction, probably the Sigbjørn guy. He had chin-length blonde hair and wore all jeans with some band patches on his jacket.
"Of course I did." Eva said hugging him "This is Astrid, my best friend" She said pointing at me.
"Nice to meet you" I said nodding with my head in a friendly way. No way I was going to hug him.
"Nice to meet you too" He retributed the nod, I could feel his look inspecting my clothes "We should get inside, it's too cold out here and the show will start soon" He said, leading the way for us inside.
He seemed to be pretty known in the scene, he would shake hands or nod his head to other guys throughout the whole way. The place was dark and had a very strange vibe to it, there were people everywhere but with the help of Sigbjørn we got to stay pretty close to the stage. The instruments were all there and they had a pig head on a stick right in the middle of the stage, that made me shiver.
"Look, you guys should stay far from the actual center of the crowd. There will be some moshing and I don't want you guys to get hurt" He said.
"What's moshing?" I asked innocently and immediately saw both of their eyes judging me.
"Don't worry, I'll explain to her" Eva said to him while rolling her eyes. In that moment I felt like I was five years old. "There will be guys pushing and slamming into each other while the music is playing so just stay away from it and you won't get hurt" I nodded without saying a word, what the hell was I getting into?!
The two of them seemed to be way more into each other than into me, as expected. They started to drink some beers Sigbjørn got for them and as I didn't drink I just stood there alone waiting for that torture to be over... But without forgetting that the worst part was yet to come, having to endure the music that would be played.
When I least expected the lights from the stage went completely dark and the people who were fixing the instruments were all gone. The place was completely crowded and I started to get a little scared for my own safety, I had never been to a metal concert before and this was a very extreme first time. We were on the left side so I just put my hands on the stage and hoped for the best.
The whole crowd was cheering and screaming when suddenly the lights turned on and the band was already in place. The screams were louder and louder when they stated to play. At that moment I didn't know what to expect, the sound was extreme and raw. The guitar played through my soul and the drums felt like actual bullets were being shot inside of that place. When the vocalist, who was carrying an upside-down wood cross, started to "sing", it was like listening to a beast scream. Everything felt so intense. I never imagined to actually enjoy that but the atmosphere was incredibly ardent and powerful. I could not help myself so I also started moving my head to the drums just like the others around me were doing. All the guys in the band had long hair, and two of them had their faces painted with white paint and black around the eyes. It made them look straight out of a horror movie.
That whole thing played like a movie in my head; I had no idea what was going on but I felt consumed by that music. It felt evil, it made me feel like I was lost in the woods in a cold night. I would shiver every time the vocalist would open his mouth, it was like entering one of my paintings. I felt drunk from the music, like I was the only person on earth at that moment. The whole concert was a big chaotic mess, people were actually moshing, some would try to get on the stage, that pig head was being thrown into the public and some people were even trying to bite from it and after around five songs the vocalist got his hands on a coke bottle and smashed it on the ground. Everyone had no idea what was about to happen, but the situation was so tumultuous and people were so consumed by the music that when he started to cut his own arm, everyone just started cheering. I felt shivers don't my spine, seeing that blonde long haired guy cut himself and gush blood on people faces made me feel quite sick as if I was back to reality after being high.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" I screamed into Sigbjørn's direction.
"It's Dead's first concert, the guy is a lunatic, don't worry. He is like that" He said trying to speak into my ear.
That didn't feel quite right but at the same time those images played like a painting in my head, I felt like I was trapped in some kind of evil nightmare but I enjoyed every moment of it. The blood running down his arms, his voice still singing the same dark melodies and the people cheering only made me fall into that same trance again. And when I least expected the show was over. People kept screaming "Mayhem! Mayhem!" non stop until the band left the stage.
"ASTRID!" I suddenly realised Eva was shaking me back into reality. "Oh my god, are you ok?!" She screamed angrily I didn't have words so I just nodded. I felt quite nauseous and my ears were deaf.
"Girls, come with me. I'm big friends with the guitarist" said Sigbjørn and we just followed him backstage. Eva was looking a little tipsy already and I had no idea what to even say to these guys after all I had seen, I didn't feel like talking to them at all but I had to make sure these guys wouldn't kill my best friend.
